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Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 172)

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Pacified by stamps; transport to Church – briefly; Lou Meadon is 89; Jane – “back in the bushes” after some successful golf; in demand for flower arranging; Granny Pickford is 98; Barbara Hillier’s book – published; grave news of Tommy; whist drives – surprisingly stressful; an uplifting “God bless you”; the Kingston girls do well, and an appointment at the “South Hants”.

Book 215

At home at The Ridge on September 29th 1984, Gran does not hear the early arrival of the postman and coming downstairs finds:

… there was a Post Office card on the mat, saying that it had not been possible to deliver a registered package and it must be signed for and collected from the Post Office in Eastleigh.  So I had to go there this morning but I was pacified when I found that it was stamps and coloured postcards from Tristan da Cunha.  The stamps were featuring the constellations in “the night sky at Tristan da Cunha” and, as always, are very attractive.  Also mentioned in the bulletin was the cottage craft of knitting garments from native Tristan wool, and those collecting the stamps are offered the chance of purchasing them.  I have ordered a cardigan but it will be months before it comes.  There was a Speckled Wood flying about in the sunshine…

The Tristan stamps, franked and un-franked – “as always, very attractive”.

Gran has not forgotten the presumed theft of her painting of an Early Spider Orchid while it was on show a few years ago, but she still remains pleased to be able to exhibit some of her work in order to raise money.  On October 2nd:

In the Parish Magazine (Compton) today there was an appeal for funds for urgent repairs to the 800 year old Church, so I phoned Mr Ovenden to ask if he thought enough parishioners would be interested in seeing my paintings.  I explained there would be some difficulty as, since one was stolen when I lent them out some time ago, Barry has said they must not go out of the house.   Mr Ovenden thought it a splendid idea and he agreed to give some thought to it.  He is going to pick me up or arrange for someone else to, for the Family Service in Church at 10 a.m. on Sunday and once monthly in future.  I shall feel better if I can go.

And a few days later:

… Mr and Mrs Paris, from Shawford, kindly called and said they would gladly call for me at 10 o’clock on Sunday morning to take me to Church and bring me home again.  Mr Paris has recently retired from the Solicitors Paris, Smith and Randal, who looked after Aunt Em’s affairs.  A very nice couple indeed..

In the “Echo” was a picture of Lou [Meadon], unrecognisable at 89 and dressed in an embroidered blouse and now living at Fleming House Home.  After having known her always in a black costume and hat, summer and winter, she now looked to be another person.  I wrote to Barry and Jane Elizabeth and sent this cutting…

Lou Meadon – seemingly known to everybody and well-remembered in Chandler’s Ford.  Image courtesy of Eastleigh History.

On October 6th, on the phone to Jane, she learns the following:

She is well again and playing golf but is a little concerned about Katie and Andy.  Katie is having some difficulty in sleeping owing to fits of dithering and is alone in the flat now, though her landlady takes good care of her.  Andy, in Munich, is having some difficulty with lodging, folk there not wanting foreigners, but a lady has now agreed to take him because she wants her eighteen-year old son to learn English.  I hope all gets sorted out satisfactorily.

Later in the month, Gran feels somewhat easier about Katie, writing:

Katie had Orchestra practice this morning and a Concert this evening.  There are three nice boys in the Orchestra who take Katie to and from these doings, which is pleasing as none of us like Katie going about alone in London.

And of Andy: “Andy has been in Paris this weekend to see Judy (?) his girlfriend, on a student’s reduced train fare”.

Gran is taken to Church on October 7th by Mrs Paris, but, she says:

I found the Communion Service difficult to follow in places as it is the new version, which I do not like after the old familiar one.  Also I did not know anyone in the present congregation except one of the ladies in the choir, who sang at Jane and Stuart’s wedding.  Mr Ovenden was very kind, smiling at me when he saw me, and speaking to me afterwards…

Amonst the small items of news recorded at this time, are: Helen Kingston [Ruth and Bill’s elder daughter], newly arrived in Cambridge to study Medicine, reports that among the seven students in her group, one, named Nigel, was taught by Barry at Haberdashers.  Gran washes, she says, “… three linen mats which I embroidered over fifty years ago and whose hemstitched edges had rotted.  These I cut off, and after I had ironed the mats, I made hems on the remaining edges”.  She has been persuaded to prepare many small flower arrangements for the Golden Wedding Celebration of a couple at the Club.  Seventy members attend and, Gran says, her efforts are much appreciated, Mrs Forrest, the Chairman, presenting her with a box of After Eights, and Mr and Mrs Kestor, the Golden Couple gladly accepting the flowers that Gran has done especially for them.

On October 16th Gran pays a visit to the Harding household in Merdon Avenue, where Mary’s Mother, “Granny Pickford”, lives, confined upstairs:

This afternoon I walked round to Mary’s through the Pinewood to take a card and small gift for her Mother’s 98th birthday…  on Thursday.  I did not stay long but Mary asked me to take them up to her now, so as to spread out her gifts so that she does not have all at once.  On the way back I saw Edible Chanterelle (Cantharellis eibarius) in a small group outside a garden in Lakewood Road.

Gran was able to identify many species of fungus but she did not trust them, even the highly edible Chanterelle.  Image by Sandra Cohen-Rose and Colin Rose via Flickr.

October 26th:

Barbara Hillier’s book about the development of Chandler’s Ford was published today and folk in the local shops were very enthusiastic about the photograph of the woodland glade which became Queen’s Road and even more so when I told them that it was borrowed from me and depicted Mother with Jane in her pram and Barry beside it.  The papershop was sold out when I tried to get copies for Barry and Jane but there would be more this afternoon so I asked for two to be saved for me.

“Mother with Jane in her pram and Barry beside it.”

The illness of Gran’s great friend and Barry’s Godmother, Tommy Fowler, continues to concern her, and also Jane, who visits Gran at the end of October:

Being concerned about Tommy’s health, Jane went and bought a Chandler’s Ford book for her, thinking it would interest her and give her something to do during her enforced rest periods.  She phoned Bob to say she would go in on her way to Maureen’s [Jane’s sister-in-law, living in Wiltshire] this afternoon.

Joan Adelaide Goater - her journal about Chandler's Ford.

Gran, on receiving news a few days later, of Jane’s visit to Tommy, is disturbed:

… she had grave news of Tommy, whom she saw for a little while on Sunday… the jaundice apparently means a serious condition.  Tommy was cheerful as always and talked a lot as usual but is sure she has not long to go and accepts it.  I phoned Barry later to tell him about his Godmother and he was very shocked…

Whist drives continue to be an important social part of Gran’s life and she usually enjoys them in spite of the occasional unpleasantness displayed by over-competitive or impatient players. A drive on October 30th, though, leaves her particularly unsettled.  She writes:

To the Tuesday Whist Drive this afternoon but for once I did not enjoy it!  I got caught repeatedly with one very slow player and one bossy and interfering one who, when both were at my table, even wrote a note to the slow one in the middle of the game to tell her she was holding up play and making people miss their buses!  Another time, when she was sitting out, she sat at the elbow of the slow one, telling her what she should and should not do, and my partner told her to mind her own business and leave her to play her own game!  Not an atmosphere that I like.

Gran’s spirits are revived a little after leaving the whist drive, and she tells us, “On the way home I met Mrs Chalk, at whose place I enjoyed playing tennis for many years.  It was nice to hear news of all her family”.

Gran, with Grampa it seems, visits her old friend on the afternoon of November 2nd:

… I went to see Tommy, dreading rather to find her very ill.  So she may be but she opened the door to us herself, very thin and yellowed with jaundice but her own gallant and talkative self.  She was delighted to see me and we, of course, exchanged family news.  She had been so pleased to see Jane, and Barry had rung up to say he is coming along next weekend… I felt low-spirited this evening to have seen my oldest friend of seventy years, but Jane, bless her, phoned because she thought I might be feeling down, and this helped to make me feel better.

She does not feel better two days later, but her usual stoicism is clear. “After a broken night”, she says, “with strange stomach pains and discomfort, I did not feel like getting up this morning.  However, life remains to be lived and I rose as usual”.  Mr Paris collects her for Sunday Service at Compton and Gran finds the Service easier than before.  She understands, regretfully though, that Mr and Mrs Paris are unlikely to be able to continue taking her to Church in future owing to family commitments on most Sundays, Wednesdays being their day for Church.

She is uplifted somewhat mid-month, after acting on a suggestion of Barry’s, who had said she should show her painting of Mountain Avens to the man who allowed her to collect a sample of it from his rock wall:

So I walked down to his bungalow in Mead Road and showed it to him.  He remembered me and was delighted to see the painting and asked if I wanted any more.  When I left, he said, “God bless you”, so I was very glad I went.  It was very sunny when I walked home along Coronation Walk on the opposite side to that I usually take, and it was beautifully silent save for the rippling of the stream.  I walked slowly, enjoying the peacefulness and then sat awhile by the Lake.

We’ve already seen Gran’s painting in an earlier post, so here is a wild example, from Switzerland.  Image by Hugh Knott via Flickr.

On November 22nd, following an afternoon of whist at Hillside, Gran:

… had to go to the Doctor, as promised after three weeks, for him to have another look at the sore spot on my face.  Although not so sore, Dr Charlwood said I had had it too long and is arranging for me to have it removed by a Specialist at South Hants Hospital in Southampton.  It is not malignant, he assured me.

Book 216

Letters and phone-calls provide Gran with almost daily news of her family and friends and many of her journal entries, too many to include in this selective edit, are devoted to recording these updates.  Television also gives her a link to happenings of interest to her beyond Chandler’s Ford, and these too are often recorded.  Knitting is constantly “on the go” as well, including currently, for Ethiopian babies.  We have this, for example, in early December:

Snooker [on television] and vests for Ethiopia occupied the afternoon… This evening a programme entitled “Our House” was interesting because it was from Southampton and one of the erstwhile occupants, male, had been to dancing classes at the Misses Bird, in Carlton Crescent, where I also went!   News of Tommy, from Jill [Tommy and Bob’s elder daughter] to whom we spoke on the phone, is that she is home and being treated with drugs… Jane phoned, as she had not been able to write a letter.  She had not received mine, in which I congratulated her on her golf win but she said she was back in the bushes today!

A few days later Gran hears from Tommy herself, with news that she has Christmas parcels ready to be collected for some of the Goater family, and Gran adds, “I was very distressed to hear from her own lips that her trouble is, indeed, cancer, and she has lost much weight and will not get really better.  I have suspected it of course, but it is hard to accept…”

December 5th:

There was the Age Concern Carol Service at the Methodist Church this afternoon… The Church was well-filled with members of the various Chandler’s Ford Old Folks’ Clubs and the children of Merdon Avenue Junior School, whose age was ten years, sang their own collection of favourite Carols.  It was a lovely Service and the collection was for Dr Barnardo’s Homes.  I sat next to Mrs Digby.

Gran happily records pleasing news of her neighbours, the Kingston’s, second girl, Jenny, on December 10th, who, “… came in to tell us that she has been accepted at Bath for Physiotherapy and also at Liverpool for Law so she will decide later which place to accept.  Helen is coming home this evening”.

Still in demand for her flower arranging skills, Gran is stressed by a request on December 12th:

It was Club afternoon and I was rather shaken at being asked, at such short notice, to do the flower arrangements for the Club’s Christmas dinner on Saturday as I am not sure how I shall be placed after my visit to the hospital tomorrow.  However, I said I would do them if possible.  I thought the caterers would be doing them.  Another snag – Mr Mouton, who usually takes them up to the Hall for me, will not be taking his car on account of parking difficulties on Saturdays and is going by the coach which is being laid on.

The following day brings her the appointment at South Hants Hospital, transported there, via other pick-up and drop-off points for other patients, by “hospital transport”.  On this first visit, after a fraught journey during the rush hour, Gran is seen by Doctor Hall – “A very pleasant lady”, she writes. “She examined the spot, asked a question or two and asked me to go at 11 a.m. tomorrow, when she will take a piece for examination and make an appointment for suitable treatment after Christmas”.

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Related posts:

Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 165) Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 166) Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 169) Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 173) Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 176)
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  1. Rick, thank you for our weekly instalment of your grandmother’s diary. As a lifelong resident of Chandler’s Ford, it brings back many memories of those quieter, more fulfilling days. Chandler’s Ford Lake, back in the fifties and sixties, was a bubbling haven of wildlife, covered in blooming pond lilies and home to huge carp which we could never catch. The edges, in spring, had literally hundreds of frogs mating and the water was a mass of frog spawn. The way the Council neglected and destroyed this beautiful natural habitat is outrageous, although they are, at last, trying to redress the balance. It lost its intimacy and the wildlife has largely disappeared. It angers me, as you can probably deduce.

    Your Grandmother mentioned Mr Chalk’s tennis court. There were, back in the day, private tennis courts all over Chandler’s Ford; in Park Road, Lakewood Road, Kingsway and Tyrrel Road. Halcyon times, though poorer monetarily they were rich in sociability.

    I lived then, and again now, in the top part of Lakewood Road; the picture of the pathway that became Queens Road is very familiar to me as I used to canter through those woods on one of Maureen Toole’s horses – nothing between Lakewood and Hursley Roads apart from woodland and common – and ‘the bumps’ where we rode our bikes acrobatically. I remember the day the developers came with their chain saws and bulldozers to begin the destruction/construction of Hiltingbury.

    I attended Kings Road School back in the fifties; the memory is a bitter one – the headmaster, Harold Mann, was a tyrannical man who damaged the young lives of many through his brutality. His comment in my Annual Report was just one word – ‘shocking’. At the age of seven, my teacher wrote that I was ‘retarded’. (I ended up being a headteacher for thirty years and served on Government committees. Mann was the antithesis of everything I stood for.)

    Lou Meaden was obviously a ‘local character’ – of which there were many in those days. Was she the old lady who used to come to school every day in her pony and trap to collect the leftover food scraps for pigswill in large milk churns? I fantasised about escaping with her from the tin classroom which was my prison cell.

    Rick, one of my schoolmates was Pete Gotham who I caught up with recently. His whole life was based around wildlife – I think he became RSPB Officer for the south-west – a great guy, entertaining, knowledgeable and full of interesting stories. Perhaps you’ve come across him?
    I look forward to the next instalment of your Grandmother’s fascinating diary.

    Reply

    • Hi Rick and Robbie …
      As previously stated Rick, Gran’s memories have on several occasions brought back my memories, both of people and events …
      You Robbie have brought back 2 more, Maureen Toole and the Gotham’s … Maureen was one of the ‘Horsey Group’ of the period, and although I did not know Peter Gotham, I did know his brother Ivor, and Mrs. Gotham … they had a nursery in Common Road …

      The elderly lady with the pony and trap was not Lou Meadon, but ‘Old Ma Bailey’ as she was affectionately known … she lived in a thatched cottage that used to be in what is called Church Lane, between Hursley Road opposite the Ritchie and Park Road opposite King’s Road.

      Stay safe and keep smiling

      Reply

      • Thanks, Doug, for putting me right about Ma Bailey – What a character she was! There must have been a lot of food thrown out for pig swill, which doesn’t say much for the quality of food cooked in the Kings Road kitchen! My sister, Marny, and I walked home to Shaftesbury Avenue for lunch and then back; kids weren’t driven in their parents’ 4x4s in those days. We got fresh air and plenty of exercise and were fitter for it.

        I remember Ivor Gotham – popular with the girls at North End Secondary Mod – and Mr Gotham’s nursery in Common Road. The road wasn’t made up in those days, neither was Oakwood Road where, as a student, I had a summer vacation job working with a road gang as a labourer and dumper truck driver. I remember digging the trench to lay the kerbstones. They sacked me because I worked too enthusiastically and didn’t spend my day playing cards in the workmen’s hut. That’s my story – and I’m sticking to it!!

        Maureen Toole is long since dead but her sisters, Carol and Pidgie, are still around, living out in the country.

        Reply

    • Robbie – many thanks for that long and very interesting response. It would clearly be a desirable thing if every headmaster was as “retarded” as you! It shows how influential, for good or for ill a school teacher can be, and what an immeasurably important line of work it is. I’m glad Doug was able to sort out the Ma Bailey story. I remember it being covered by my Gran in an earlier blog post but without an index, I was going to find it hard to locate it.

      What you write about the Lake will ring loud bells with my Dad, who bemoans changes there in much the same way.

      I googled Pete Gotham because I had not heard of him. However, he worked on several heath areas in Devon with which I am a bit familiar, having lived in Exeter for a while before his time there. I see he is now retired. I expect my old workmate at Slimbridge, Tony Richardson, who became CEO of the WWT for a while and then moved on to the RSPB as Regional Manager for the South-west, knew him.

      Once again, many thanks for enjoying my Gran’s take on life in Chandler’s Ford in the second half of the 20th Century. If only she could know…

      Reply

    • Thank you for your comment Robbie. I am doing a bit of personal research about the former tennis courts in upper Kingsway that you refer to which closed in the late 1950s or very early 1960s. The land was sold and the Freshwater Court apartments built on the site in about 1961. My parents had a house built on part of the former tennis club car park in 1957. This is now adjacent to Broxburn Close and the family stayed there until 1973 when my parents moved to Romsey and I left for university. Our next door neighbour, Mr Wellbeloved brought the former pavillion and it served as his garden shed for many years. Please do you have any more information or images of the tennis courts or club? I also bitterly remember headmaster Harold Mann but from Merdon Avenue junior school and agree with all your comments about his tyrannical behaviour which crushed many young lives. Fortunately I had a great teacher there in my final year,John Hobbs, who got me and all my feiiow classmates through the 11+ on on to Barton Peveril, a grammar school in those days.

      Reply

  2. I worked with Pete Gotham in about 1983 when he was RSPB warden in Snettisham, Norfolk. I was a 6-month volunteer there and he was great, He owned a Citroen 2CV and on one occasion we were barged to one side by a fast-moving Range Rover driven by Prince Phillip and the Queen (who lived in Wolverton when they are listed as staying at Sandringham)!!

    Reply

    • Oscar you silly old bugger it was an Ami 8 and those waders were never the same, fond memories of Snetts, am off to Australia to see brother next week, he is 80, doesn’t time fly, what are you up to?. Robert havn’t seen you since forever, must get back to Chandlersford one day and catch up with everyone perhaps at one of Geogg Smalls parties

      Reply

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