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Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 150)

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An operation; convalescence; a wedding, and home again.

The time for Gran’s left hip replacement is nearing, and during the week before it she receives countless expressions of good wishes from friends and neighbours, several of whom she barely knows but who have seen her going about the district on her crutches over the last few months.  On May 24th 1976, Gran’s husband, Bill, drives her to the Royal Masonic Hospital in London, her place there enabled through his activities in the Masonic movement.  “I clocked in”, she says:

… just before two o’clock this afternoon and was soon taken to my ward, a pleasant four-bed one on the third floor.  Happily my bed is by the window and, though I look out on other parts of the hospital, I can see a tree-lined road at the end and the sky telling me about the weather – with Swifts flying round.

The Royal Masonic Hospital, Ravenscourt Park, London – Gran’s home for three weeks. Image by Steve Cadman via Flickr.

X-rays, blood tests and various examinations follow, and then:

Tea was brought to the ward, but we went to supper at 6.30 at the rest-room.  Supper for me consisted of fried chicken, banana fritter, fried potato and sweet corn, preceded by tomato soup and followed by junket.

For the first time since starting her journal, in 1947, she mentions Grampa by name, saying that “Bill, Barry, Jane Elizabeth and Geoffrey” visit her with flowers and chocolates.  And she is worried that, while in hospital, she will be unable to write every day in her journal.  On the 26th, following this visit, she writes: “I shall try to get our journal written up to lunchtime tomorrow, but after that I am afraid there may be a day or two missed for the first time in over twenty-nine years”.

May 27th:  “D. Day for me!” And at nine o’clock she adds, “I have just been told that the operation is to be at 1.30 this afternoon.  It is now clear and sunny and the Swifts are flying round”.  She just has time to write: “Pre-operation therapy 12.00” before being wheeled away.

Her next entry, the last two lines of the day, and penned in very wobbly handwriting, is, “I went for my operation at half-past one and came to at 7p.m. with much back ache.  Two hours’ operation”.

On the following day she receives the first of many, many cards and letters from well-wishers and says:

Today I have been mainly tended by a nurse from Trinidad, a really charming lass, but all the nurses here are very nice and competent.  I am in a single room now, with more trees to see out of my window.  A Mistle Thrush was singing late in the afternoon.  Bill and Jane Elizabeth came to see me.

A Mistle Thrush.  Gran, typically, watched and listened for interest outside her hospital window – Swifts, Gulls, Woodpigeons. Image by nmahieu via Flickr.

On the 29th various medical procedures, she says, leave her tired, sleepy, sick, faint and a “bit groggy”, but more cards and letters arrive to brighten her day, including one from Australia, which includes:

… unused stamps of Cook Islands commemorating the tenth anniversary of Independence.  The blood transfusion and drip were removed from my arm this morning.  I wrote four notelets, which were all I could manage.

I imagine that Gran is an excellent patient; positive in outlook, not demanding, and kind and friendly to the hospital staff.  She quickly learns the names of her nurses, is interested in their lives and develops close relationships with them.  She is given more stamps next day, saying, “The nurse from Trinidad, Leonine Coward, this morning brought me a large packet of varied West Indian stamps, most of which I had not seen before.  Very kind”.

June 1st, she says, is:

An exhausting morning, with physiotherapy exercises followed by being stood on my feet for the first time.  A major operation this, as the left leg must not be moved, one nurse rolling back the bedclothes, one and the physiotherapist easing me flat to the side of the bed, and then, without bending me anywhere, somehow standing me upright, I clutching both round their necks!

Joan Adelaide Goater - her journal about Chandler's Ford.

Many more cards arrive during the first week of June including one, delightfully unexpected, from, she says, “‘Pilgrims’, the bakers at home”. And her visitors are regular and numerous.  Her physiotherapy continues, the hospital staff keen to get her out of bed and onto her feet.

On the 6th, Gran is more concerned for the welfare of one of her nurses than she is for her own:

After tea Nurse Whitnall returned to duty and was rather annoyed that I had not been got into my chair again and forthwith proceeded to get me there.  Nurse Whitnall is tiny, fair-haired with beautiful blue eyes and a ready winning smile.  She seemed too small to cope with the rather useless me, but assured me she could cope.  However, when I staggered, she said I made her go hot all over and I was appalled to think I might have completely squashed her.  However, the danger passed and I was soon comfortably installed again and ate my supper there.

On June 7th, Barry and the family visit, Gran noting, “Geoff and Robin’s eyes glittered at the sight of Granny having fish and chips, and mandarins in jelly – two of their favourite dishes!”

And so her days pass until mid-June: the stitches are removed on the 8th “… from my ‘beautiful wound’ according to the nurses”; there is daily physiotherapy, involving ice-packs, weights and exercise repetitions.  By the 10th she is happily walking on crutches, and managing to wash herself, dress and get into bed without help – “something of an effort”, she says:

… but I achieved it and felt much encouraged.  Nurse thought my blouses lovely and was amazed when I told her they are more than twenty years old.  She told me they are greatly in fashion now!

”Tomorrow”, she writes on the 14th, “I advance from crutches to two sticks – rather an intimidating thought”, but to her relief, when the time comes, she finds them easier to use than crutches.

“Bill and Jane Elizabeth came to fetch me at three o’clock”, she writes on June 18th and so begin six weeks of rehabilitation, encouragement and care at Barry and Jane Elizabeth’s home in Bushey.  “I am writing up our journal in the mornings”, she writes on the 20th, “… between my cup of tea and breakfast in bed.  Very spoilt but exceedingly pleasant.  It is a long, long time since I was so indulged”.

On June 23rd, apparently the hottest June day for nineteen years (and tremendous heat and drought characterise this Summer of 1976):

Jane Elizabeth and I went to the Sports at Little Reddings School, in which Geoffrey and Robin were competing.  I managed to walk non-stop to the distant part of the playing fields and Jane took two folding chairs, and a cushion for me… Geoffrey and Robin each won their heats in their groups and both came second in their finals.

Gran is disappointed not to be able to attend grandson Julian’s Graduation Ceremony, in Oxford at this time, but she says as he leaves Bushey for Oxford on the 24th, “… he knows he has my full support.  He looked an exceedingly handsome and splendid young man, and I am very proud of him”.  On the same day, she writes of another grandson:

Jane Elizabeth and I listened to tennis whilst Geoffrey was at Bushey Meads School, being shown round and taking an assessment test for his entry in September.  He came home very pleased at the prospect.

Next day there is both pleasure and disappointment:

Another milestone this morning!  I managed a bath quite alone and successfully, and discovered on weighing myself that I had lost between eight and ten pounds since I went into hospital.  Post brought me a beautiful Dulac card, of Ariel sipping nectar from Jasmine, from the Forsons, with further good wishes, and an air letter from Vicki telling me that she will not be able to send further First Day Covers.  A pity, as Gilbert had sent so regularly during his lifetime.

She notes on the same day, that “Barry left early this afternoon to meet Ricky at Exeter to look for the American Kestrel on Bodmin Moor”, and, speaking to Barry’s entomological friend, Eric Classey, on the phone, Gran reports that “he was very kind… but said it was dreadful of Barry to go to Cornwall to look for a bird when so many good moths are on the wing!”

The only two American Kestrels ever recorded in the UK turned up in 1976 – one on Fair Isle and one on Bodmin Moor.  Image by Wendy Miller via Flickr.

Gran writes on June 26th, that Julian drives:

… Jane Elizabeth, Geoffrey and Robin and me to the open-air swimming pool at Mill Hill, where I sat in the shade whilst the others disported themselves in and out of the water and, between times, Julian and the boys played football on the grass at the far end of the pool.  The swimming pool is really in a very beautiful setting, itself clear blue, with large fountains each end, and at the back of the terrace where I was sitting, is a wide border of lovely pink Roses.

There was, of course, a huge variety of “sights” among the bathers, some of whom would look much better in clothes and one or two who, were I like them, I would have certainly been far too embarrassed to appear.  There were four lifeguards who were indeed fine examples of young manhood, upright, slim and bronzed…

I was stiff when we left, Julian bringing Jane and me home and the car was so hot inside that we could scarcely touch it to get in and only just able to sit on the seats.  Open roof and windows soon made it bearable.  Sue brought the boys back later and had lunch here.

There being no television at Reddings Avenue, Gran has missed watching the Tennis Championships on her black and white set at The Ridge but on June 30th she is very happy, she says, to be able:

… to go in next door to see Wimbledon Tennis on Mrs Shields’ colour television, the semi-final match between Virginia Wade and Evonne Cawley.  Evonne played almost faultless tennis throughout, with great grace and athleticism and poor Virginia did not have a chance… The other semi-final was between Chris Evert and Martina Navratilova, and this was a closer match, Martina running the No 1 seed to three sets before going down 3-6 6-4 4-6.

Chris Evert beat Evonne Cawley in the final two days later.  The same day:

Jane and I made the rose buttonholes, yellow and flame, for the gentlemen officials at the Wedding and a corsage each for her and me. We put damp cotton wool round the stems under foil and they are in the refrigerator.  I hope they survive this heat!”

July 3rd:

Ricky’s Wedding Day… It was very hot again.  Jane, Stuart, Katherine and Andrew arrived from Preston, Barry meeting them at Watford Station, then Tommy and Bob arrived with Brother, and other friends of Ricky’s who were to be the Ushers.  Julian and Sue completed the party for coffee before some departed for an early arrival at the Church.

It was lovely to see everyone again, Jane in a pretty flowered dress on a white ground, Katherine in scarlet and white with a short matching jacket and Andrew in brown trousers, white shirt and his first tweed jacket.  Geoff wore check trousers, green shirt with green and orange tie, and Robin check trousers, navy blue shirt with striped navy, white and red tie.  We arrived at the Church, Baptist, just before twelve o’clock”.

“… lovely to see everyone again…” – From left to right: Stuart; Jane; Gramp; Katie; Gran; Jane Elizabeth; Barry; Rick; Beverly; Fiona; Jo; Robin; Julian; Rob; Geoff; Andy.  Gran described many their outfits.

A long description of the day’s event, with Gran’s typical acute observations, follows: the flowers; Beverly looking “beautiful walking in on the arm of her Father to the strains of the Air from Handel’s Water Music…”; her dress of ivory silk, with long, tucked sleeves; … the Matron of Honour and Bridesmaids, “charming in long white crimson-sprigged gowns with narrow crimson velvet sashes at the high waists…

“The Ceremony”, she writes:

… was according to the Baptist tradition and, to us, lacked the beauty and glamour of our own Church Ceremonies… Julian was an excellent Best Man and his speech was very witty and caused much amusement. Ricky responded in typical Ricky style, brief and to the point… Beverly went away in a blue and white dress and white hat and, what I could see of Ricky, he appeared to be himself, in jeans.

Beverly and Rick on their way to the  reception.

July 8th:

Whilst Jane Elizabeth was out shopping, I heard claws tapping up the hall and a large yellow Labrador looked in the sitting-room door. Without thinking I got up and chased it out the open back door which I then closed.  Only then did I realize that I had done this without my sticks and wondered if I had done any damage to myself, but apparently I have not!

And that evening:

… I went with Jane to the Parents’ evening at Little Reddings School and saw some of the pupils’ work.  Much of it conveys little to me these days!  Jane later went to the one at Bushey Meads, where Geoff goes in September and I hope he will be happy there and do as well as Ricky did.

Following a short, though “my furthest yet” walk, with Jane Elizabeth, Gran says a couple of days later:

When we returned we found Ricky and Beverly here and they stayed to supper with us.  They had greatly enjoyed their time away and seen Cerne Abbas, where they stayed the first night, Lulworth Cove, Corfe Castle, Wareham, Studland, Hengistbury Head, Tennyson Down on the Isle of Wight, Brockenhurst, where they spent a night at the Balmer Lawn, and other parts of the New Forest.

Gran’s return to The Ridge takes place on July 30th.  Barry, with the rest of the family, drives her there but not before he has experienced an exciting morning’s birding with companion, Phil Vines.  They had driven to Lakenheath, in Suffolk, the evening before, and Gran recounts:

He and Phil had slept in the car in order to be on the spot at dawn when the excitement was expected… Twenty pairs of Golden Orioles are in the vicinity, where they have been breeding for the past ten years, but the news has only just leaked out.  Barry and Phil saw and heard about seven or eight, Barry’s first glimpse of these birds but I have seen two on separate, far apart occasions.  He was immensely excited.

Friends and neighbours welcome Gran home, including, of course, the Kingston family, and Mr Oury and the other shopkeepers “over the road”.  On the first day of August:

Jane Elizabeth cleaned my bedroom for me and generally tidied up and then I reluctantly saw them away to Bushey again.  It was lovely to have them here.  House Martins were flying round.  I cooked my first lunch for over nine weeks and managed quite well with one hand and one stick!

The only photo I can find of Gran with her sticks.  Her husband, Bill, is on the left, and Beverly’s Grandmother, Nellie Andrews, is on the right.

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