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Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 153)

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Resumption of local walks; a new dress for £6.99; paid with a joint;  “a concoction of my own”; Ship Canal shares from Gilbert; Crossbills at Woodfidley; “dear old brother”; sadness and sympathy; friends and frustrations, and an ambition fulfilled.

January 12th 1977: Gran always looks forward to new stamp issues but today’s are not her favourite:

New stamps were issued today, Racket Games, Tennis, Badminton, Squash and Table Tennis, but I think they are spoilt by the “stroke lines” on them, which look like scribble.  I sent the usual to Penang and Australia.

Image courtesy of Andy Brenan.  Gran did not like the “scribbles”

On the 13th, she tells us that, “In northern, eastern and western areas it has been the worst Winter’s day for fourteen years, with snow in some places ten feet deep”.  It is frosty in Chandler’s Ford but rain sets in later and Gran walks to Hillside for the whist drive there, “… going in Wellington boots and my old, long tweed raincoat which Jane gave me over twenty years ago, and taking warm slippers with me”.

On the 16th:

I went for a walk round the Lake as soon as I had finished breakfast and fed the birds, and it brought me great pleasure.  I met Mr Oury on the way there… I was both touched and encouraged when he told me that the result of my operation was wonderful and that I looked younger than he had ever seen me.  I am not fussy as to what I look like but it is pleasing to know that the well-being I now feel is reflected in my face.

And once at the Lake:

I was watching a Goldcrest and writing notes when a gentleman came up and mentioned how good it was to hear the woodpecker and he had stopped because he had seen me doing so.  He proved to be a member of the Deer Society, Mr Hall, of Brownhill Road, and knew Brother by name.

On January 23rd she does not forget grand-daughter Katherine’s growing collection of international dolls, now numbering around fifty:

I spent a very pleasant time dressing a small doll as a ballet dancer for Katherine.  I used white tulle for the dress, with a silk bodice, tulle frills on the armholes and frills on the panties.  I edged the top layer of the skirt with silver and white thread, and the neckline of the bodice also.  A narrow white sash completed the dress and round the head I put a band of the ribbon with a pearl in the front.  The ballet shoes were the most difficult part, but I made them of pale green satin, blocked the toes with cotton-wool and tied them, ballet fashion, with white thread.  I was pleased with the result.

She plans to walk around the Lake on the 24th:

I went for a walk this afternoon intending to go round the Lake but, when I went into Coronation Walk, a suspicious-looking man followed me so I turned about and walked through the Pinewood and up Lakewood Road instead… I turned along Hocombe Road past the flint wall of Cranbury Park, wondering if Hawfinches would be on the Hornbeams but they were not.

The hard seeds of Hornbeam are relished by Hawfinches.  Image by Hornbeam Arts via Flickr.

That evening, visiting the Doctor’s for a prescription, she meets, “our new Dr Burgess for the first time and found him a very pleasant young man”.

We know how much Gran hates shopping but on 28th January:

I wanted to look round for ideas for a suitable dress for Julian’s wedding in April.  With little thought of buying one yet, I went into Debenhams and had taken my gloves as a guide to colour, as they are a good match with the hat I want to wear.  I found two which seemed alright and asked an assistant for help.  And, how helpful she was!  The sale was on and she showed me a rack of dresses at half price but none was suitable.  I was retuning to the ones I had selected when she brought one which she thought would suit and which I could have next Thursday for £6.99 instead of £15, if I liked it and could collect it next week.  She has put it by for me… it is perfect!

Television and knitting continue to take up much of her evening time.  On the 30th she enjoys, at first, “The Life of the Rabbit” on The World About Us Series, “but switched off when the ghastly results of myxomatosis were shown.  Cruel and horrible. Stars on Sunday somewhat soothed me”, she writes.  The following day, there is a programme about the twenty-five years of the Queen’s reign, related, no doubt, to the impending celebrations in early February of her Silver Jubilee, prompting Gran to write, “How well she has served this country during that time and may God bless her and enable her to continue for many years yet”.

And on February 1st, having recently completed a pullover for Heather, the daughter of her friend, Sheila, she writes: “Sheila came in this morning and brought me a fine joint of lamb for knitting Heather’s pullover!  Very acceptable in these days of high meat prices”.

The 2nd is a wet day, but one on which Norris is due to take Gran out.  “I hesitated about preparing lunch for Brother and me to take out”, she writes:

… but these now infrequent outings with him mean so much to me and I was pleased when he came and agreed to go up Farley Mount and then to see the Snowdrops at Little Somborne.  Though the rain barely eased it was a very satisfactory time and I added seven birds to this year’s list.

Joan Adelaide Goater - her journal about Chandler's Ford.

Food and meals are generally of little interest to Gran and she rarely makes a note of them in her journal but on February 19th Sheila visits again and she writes:

Sheila called in to ask me to add half an inch to the sleeves of Heather’s pullover and was very interested in my preparations for cooking sausages, and the sweet, already prepared – banana over stewed pears, topped with custard sprinkled with coconut and a dab of apricot jam in the middle.  A concoction of my own!

Later in the month there is news of Julian, who:

… finishes at Cranwell at the end of next week and has been appointed to Odiham, with married quarters, which is very pleasing since this station was his first choice and is not very far from here – I shall hope to see them, him and Sue, quite often.

“I went up to Badminton”, she writes on the 22nd:

… where it was the annual General Meeting and the Chairman, Vice Chairman, Ken Chalk, and the rest of the Committee very kindly voted me an Associate Member and expressed regret that I could not play with them again.

Ken Frewer, son of Gilbert Whitley’s sister Marjorie, in Australia, visits England during this time, spending a day with Gran and Norris in the New Forest before moving on to other friends and family.  Shortly afterwards, Gran writes:

Post brought a registered letter from Ken, enclosing the shares certificate in Gilbert’s name, the final form to be filled in and the necessary process of seeing a solicitor or my bank manager to arrange the transfer of the shares to me.

We learn a little later that these are Manchester Ship Canal Company shares.

Gran is excited to hear from Barry that a Hoopoe, that bird species, which she so wants to see, is at Portland Bill in mid-March, but she fears that Norris, when he next visits, will say it is too far for them to go.  On his arrival, on the 16th, the weather is wet and windy and, Gran says, “… we decided to have our usual outing, and we went first to Compton for Brother to see the Setterwort”.  They then drive into the New Forest, going as far as Sowley Pond, where they enjoy Great Crested Grebes in display, a Kingfisher and a range of common waterbirds before going, Gran records:

…to our favourite gate at Ladycross, looking into the ride at Woodfidley and had only just arrived when a Sika hind and yearling calf emerged from the wood on the left and crossed the ride, grazing on the right hand verge before going into the wood.  Two hinds and two calves followed and then hinds and calves moved to and fro until we did not know if we were seeing the same ones or not.  Eventually we saw all together in the ride, eleven hinds and four calves.  The at the top of the ride, a splendid eight-pointer stag emerged…

“Our favourite gate at Ladycross, looking into the ride at Woodfidley”.  Image courtesy of Maw*Maw via Flickr.

Then there is great excitement, following “coffee and cake [in the car], watching Blue Tits, Coal Tits and Long-tailed Tits flitting about”, when Norris, walking a short way along the ride, frantically beckons to Gran, who “ran(!) to him”, she writes, and they see their first Crossbills for several years.  Beaulieu Road and Denny Wood are their next destinations, where Stonechat, Green Woodpecker, Marsh Tit, Redwings and Fieldfares are seen, and they enjoy the antics of a Pied Wagtail, confused by its own reflection in the car’s wing-mirror.

This though, is to be their last outing together.  News on March 26th leaves Gran bereft:

… early in the evening I was shattered to receive a telephone call from a Dr Kidd from the Isle of Wight to tell me that dear old Brother had collapsed and died.  Of course I have known this could happen after his coronary six years ago and I am glad that he had these six years and did not have a long illness or eventually have no-one to look after him.  I shall miss him intolerably for he was the only person with whom I could go out to enjoy the things we both loved…

Gran phones family and friends and writes gratefully, “Tommy and Ruth came at once to be with me.  Enid is coming tomorrow”.  Over the next few weeks Gran receives wonderful kindness and support from her wide circle of neighbours and acquaintances, as well as family.  Enid Denis does visit the next day; she:

… came early this afternoon and cheered me a great deal.  We chatted and did our knitting and she said she was going to take me under her wing and arrange some outings for me.  She stayed until just after half-past seven, and, whilst she was here, Tommy phoned me to see how things were…

“Dear old Brother”.

March 28th brings Gran some frustration and also a brief outburst concerning a lack of contact in recent years between Norris’s only son and his father:

Solicitors, when approached about Brother’s will, said they could not disclose the contents but did just say that David (I hope his conscience smites him!) is executor and no directions were given as to his funeral.  I do not know who will arrange this.

A restless afternoon, but I tried to watch International Table Tennis on television and to concentrate on knitting but it was not very successful.  Mary rang to know if I had heard anything more and was her dear, sympathetic self.  Margaret [Burnside] rang.  The post-mortem on Brother is tomorrow.  She has his personal effects and his keys, which she will send on to me, and is taking his car (which he has left to me) from her garage to his parking place at the Caravan Park until things are settled.  Bill said he would meet her there, collect his personal things for me and take her back to Ashurst.  We can go no further than that at present.

The month ends with no further news of Norris’s funeral arrangements, and Gran says she “feels completely shut out, which is very saddening considering all we have been through together”.

It is not until April 6th, that she learns of Brother’s funeral arrangements, Gran writing:

Post brought me a wonderful letter of sympathy from Fin, written within a card bearing these lovely words, “What is death? A wondrous mercy, a coming home, a divine welcome to a well-loved child”.  This softened in some measure the message from the Solicitors, which informed me that dear Brother is being cremated in the Isle of Wight tomorrow at 10 a.m.  They could not tell me what is to become of his ashes which, hating cremation as I do, it would have consoled me a little if I could have scattered them myself on the spot in the Forest where he and I last stood together watching Crossbills.

I could not possibly go to the Island tomorrow morning, neither would I wish to, with an outsider there.  Funerals should be private, family occasions.  Fin has said she will have a Mass said for him…

This reference by Gran to “an outsider” is the only hint of bitterness we read with regard to Norris’s friendship with his fairly recently acquired kindred spirit, Margaret Burnside, whom Gran felt, had diverted her brother’s attentions from her in the years of his retirement.

“Barry and family arrived soon after lunch and it is lovely to have them with me… The moth lamp is on in the garden, like old times”, she writes at the end of the day.

And on the day of the funeral:

I felt very sad this morning with thoughts of dear old Brother and finding it more and more difficult to realize that I shall not see him again in this life.  I try to feel confident about the next, but it is hard going today.  Barry and Jane did much to help, suggesting an outing this morning.

Joan and Norris in about 1908. Gran was devoted to her elder brother.

Newly arrived summer migrants: a “glorious male Yellow Wagtail”, a White Wagtail with several Pieds, and two Swallows at Emer Bog, and plans for a trip to Portland on the following day partially raise her spirits.

Six pages of descriptive notes about their day in Dorset, listing birds including Willow Warblers, Sand Martins, Bearded Tits, Corn Buntings, Fulmars, Kittiwakes and Purple Sandpipers follow, but Gran’s greatest pleasure is the realisation of one of her great avian desires.  They look for the long-staying Hoopoe:

… we were directed to fields near Pennsylvania Castle where there were also stone quarries… I was ensconced on a mound with a good all-round view whilst Barry went to look in a distant quarry…Geoffrey suddenly came rushing to me to say that the Hoopoe had flown from the quarry into a field… and we hurried thence, keeping close to the wall over which three heads and binoculars were seen.  We were directed by the owner of one of these to pinpoint a greenhouse in a garden and move our glasses to the third post to the right, and there was one of my greatest “ambition birds”, a beautiful Hoopoe, sunning itself on the  bank below a tumbledown stone wall.

Ultimately Gran and the family get fabulous prolonged and close views of the bird, in flight and also occasionally raising its crest.  Wonderful for her though this experience was, we can be sure that Hoopoe was a bird ever after associated with sadness over the death of her beloved “Brother”.

At last! An ambition fulfilled.  Image by Nik Borrow via flickr.

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  2. I remember going to Debenhams (though not the one in Southampton) in the 1970s with my grandmother. I would have a milk shake and danish pastry in the coffee shop. I think Debenhams was quite fashionable back then. Alas, it never changed much since which is probably why it is now facing such financial difficulties.

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    • Thanks for the comment Chippy. I’m not sure I ever set foot in Debenhams – unless that’s the store that was particularly good for lighting – in which case, maybe I did!

      Reply

  3. Soon after arriving in Southampton, I came across a Hoopoe in the New Forest. It flew off in a blur of black white and cinnamon. I thought at the time that it was a good omen.

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