Wild daffodils damaged; “stupid” in her old age; nostalgia for lost friends; family head boys; Sherborne House School; Easter at Compton Church; Early Spiders at Durleston; a fabulous day in the Forest; a Cornish Squacco Heron; Geoff – the king of whist, and thankful memories of Adrian.
March 23rd 1981 begins badly for Gran when some of her treasured flowers are damaged. She writes:
On going to the Post Office, I was distressed to see that some devil, human or dog, had torn off a lot of the wild Daffodils on our outside bank. I brought in those with any stem and put them in a bowl but there were many heads on the ground with no stem at all.
Small signs of the effect of Gran’s increasing age are beginning to creep into her writings these days. Her penmanship is still almost immaculate; just the occasional page with slightly wayward writing, and spaces left unfilled where she has forgotten the scientific name of a plant, or the surname of an acquaintance. Sometimes she recognises the effect on her of the advancing years. So, two days later, she says, and not for the first time, “I am getting very stupid in my old age!” This because, she relates on the 25th:
New stamps for the year of the Disabled were issued today and I bought my usual, sending off one First Day Cover, but when I later went to stick in my mint set I found I had lost or mislaid them.
Letters and stamps from “Marjorie (Australia)” as Gran usually calls her, continue to arrive at The Ridge with great regularity and frequency, and Gran is very interested in any news she supplies, being her main link with the much-missed Gilbert Whitley, who was Pam’s uncle. Gran says:
Post brought me a letter from Marjorie who is in Athens with Pam and Lazaros. I had been very anxious on account of the earthquakes there but I was relieved to hear that they are all safe though Pam and Lazaros, with the children, have had to move out of their flat which has been declared unsafe.
It is not only Gilbert for whom she is nostalgic, for the following day is the anniversary of her brother Norris’s death, and her first entry is, “Remembering dear old Brother, friend and companion, whom I miss beyond telling”. That afternoon, while Gran is out, some Hellebore seedlings are left at her door; a gift from Joan Spurgin.

On arriving home after a day spent with Enid Denis in Southampton, Gran receives a phone call from Longton:
Jane rang… with exciting news of Andrew. He is to be Head Boy of Hutton Grammar School next term and the Headmaster told him that the voting for him by the boys and the staff had been overwhelming. Andy is sticking to Modern Languages as his subject and, if he gets to Cambridge, is thinking of reading Chinese! He is the third Grandson to be Head Boy, Julian of Haberdashers and Ricky of Bushey Meads! What a family, and Kate is Deputy Head of Penwortham. I am so proud of them.
Gran, apparently the “go-to” person in the neighbourhood for wildlife advice receives news from a neighbour who:
… came to tell me a Muscovy Duck had been injured by a car and was lying in the road and what could she do about it. I went down and found the poor bird unable to fly and I think the wing was broken. She was bleeding. I suggested that the RSPCA should be notified and the lad carried the duck into my neighbour’s garden and she was going to phone the RSPCA. At least it could be put out of its misery if nothing else could be done for her. These motorists go along this road far too fast in spite of a 30 mile per hour limit and one of these days a human being will be knocked down.
“It was Club afternoon”, she writes on April 1st:
The entertainment was lovely, given by the choir of Sherborne House School and it was received with enthusiasm by everyone. Their songs were all of good quality, some of them classical – most enjoyable. Afterwards the girls, all aged from 9 to 11, came amongst the audience and were perfectly at ease. Some of them were very surprised when I told them that Barry and Jane went to Sherborne House and I had a chat with Miss Wise.
More flower-painting for friends has been requested and Gran is busy in the first few days of April with a “special daffodil” (Narcissus Mary Copeland) for Ruth Kingston. The light indoors has sometimes not been suitable for painting but it is finished by the 5th and Gran takes it next door, where Ruth was very pleased with it, “and somewhat quelled my doubts about it”, says Gran, continuing, “Somehow I had found it a very difficult subject”. And the following evening Ruth visits her at The Ridge where Gran gives her a birthday present and card for the next day. “She will be just half my age!”, she exclaims.
April 19th is Easter Sunday and Gran, still suffering second thoughts about her Faith, walks to Compton Church – “and glad I was that I did so”, she says. She quietly watches a Roe doe for some minutes in Cranbury Park, records a number of spring flowers, and “There was a Rabbit”, she notes, in the disused allotments at the bottom of Otterbourne Hill. “The Service did me a world of good”, she writes:
… and helped to restore some of my wavering Faith. The flowers were beautiful as always and it was a family service of Communion and there was a huge congregation. All the children were encouraged to go to the Altar rail, where they were blessed whilst the Confirmed received the bread and wine.
Post on April 24th brought:
… “Athletics Weekly” with news of Julian’s win in the Watford six and three surprising photos headed “Goater 1961, Goater 1971, Goater 1981”, and the surprise was the 1961, which was of Barry Goater, (Julian’s father) winning the inter-club 880 yards for Shaftsbury. The 1971 was of Julian winning the Southern Junior 3000 metres and the 1981, Julian winning the National. Barry later ran the 880 yards in a Shaftsbury record 1.53.7.
That evening she and Ruth go to Southampton together to see the London Festival Ballet at the Gaumont, in Giselle. “The Ballet was delightful, the colours of the sets and the dresses most beautiful and Ruth greatly enjoyed her first ever Ballet”, she writes. Ruth had used a ticket initially for Mary Harding but Mary had been unable to go.
April 25th:
I was half-dressed this morning just before eight o’clock when there was a knock at the front door… The knock came again and, when I opened the door, there stood Ricky, come to see if I could go to Durleston Head today. Could I!! He put the kettle on whilst I finished dressing and had a cup of tea with me whilst I had my breakfast and arranged to come for me at about ten o’clock, when Beverly and Tom would come too.
Book 192
The journey takes the party via the ferry from Sandbanks to Shell Bay, buying lunch items at Swanage, Gran taking notes all the way and they eat in the car on arrival at Durleston Head because it is deluging with rain. The main aim of the trip is to find Early Spider Orchids, although at the time I was not aware that Gran had ‘lost’ her original painting of this species . She writes:
At first we could only find one very stunted Early Spider Orchid but by climbing well up the rising bank over a wide area we found many more and I was able to allow myself to pick one specimen to paint. The rain would have made it impossible to make a sketch of one instead.

Gran enjoys an equal pleasure on the journey home:
Tom had been able to have a little run around the Durleston car park before we left and he slept most of the way back to Chandler’s Ford, with his dear little hand in mine. I was reminded of the lines:-
“I thank thee, God, that I have known
A child’s soft hand within my own”
Once back at The Ridge, Gran says:
I did show them the New Forest Flowers I have painted for the Age Concern Competition in September and they would like to have the picture so it is earmarked for them… I had enjoyed a lovely day with them and had my Spider Orchid to paint.

She paints three copies: one for herself, one for Ruth next door (impressed by an orchid she has never seen before) and one for Beverly and Rick.
At half-past five on the morning of Mayday, Gran tells us that the month starts “delightfully” for her, with a Cuckoo calling for several minutes in the garden. Chandler’s Ford has by this time lost almost all of its specialised bird species, including the Cuckoo but the special birds of the New Forest (many of which were once Chandler’s Ford species) still remain there. Gran has a fabulous day there on the 9th, taken by Barry and Jane Elizabeth and seeing Tree Pipits, Redstarts, seven Hobbies, Wood Warbler, Crossbills, Dartford Warbler, Woodlark and Honey Buzzards. It’s a long day and at uts end she says, “Barry did not run the moth trap tonight because we hope to leave for Cornwall by two o’clock tomorrow morning”.
Indeed, Barry and his mother are up that early the next day, leaving Jane Elizabeth to cook a dinner for them to be enjoyed on their return. Flooded meadows, across the Tamar Bridge at Polbathic, are their goal, for a rare Squacco Heron has been seen there in recent days. Following directions they see this bird, which does what it has done each day of its stay there: fly into the flooded fields as the tide rises, where it feeds. Gran describes it as “a beautiful golden-yellow bird with broad, white wings and plumes on its head, and smaller than the Grey or Purple Herons”.

They are home again for the lunch, she says, at 1.30, “having covered 360 miles and seen fifty-three species of birds”. Barry sleeps briefly, has a cup of tea, and then departs with Jane Elizabeth, leaving son Geoffrey to spend some days with his Gran. Geoff, so keen a birder, goes out each morning to look for interesting things – along the River, into Cranbury Park, round the Lake, and to the New Forest and coast, driven there by Gran’s friend Sheila.
Gran does not go out with him on the 11th, writing that she:
… did not go out until the evening, when the children of Sherborne House School gave a splendid concert in aid of Dr Barnardo’s, to which, over the years, they have subscribed £5000 and, from the last box opening, presented the Barnardo representative with a cheque for a further £300. In her speech Miss Wise included me in her thanks as for many years I helped with Box Opening and Jane had helped with her box when a pupil at the School.
Over the next ten days, Geoff accompanies Gran to at least five whist drives, winning first and second prizes for high scores three visits in a row, being made extremely welcome by the elderly Club members and making good friends amongst them. “He won great approval from the players”, Gran records, “his little farewell speech” on his last visit:
… thanking them for having him and he said how much he had enjoyed playing with them. I saw him shaking hands with Mr and Mrs Wright. Afterwards, several people said to me what a very nice boy he is. There was certainly no generation gap and the experience has done Geoff good, I think.
Of her grandchildren on the other side of the family, she writes in late May:
Katie has officially finished school… Andy is organising himself over College choice and has made appointments to see admission tutors at Selwyn and Emmanuel, Cambridge, tomorrow. Both children have been picked for the Orchestra tour to Israel in the Summer, hoping that it is peaceful enough there.
And two days later, on May 27th, it is Katie’s eighteenth birthday, “… her official coming of age”, writes her Gran.
Book 193
Every year on June 17th Gran writes gratefully of her friendship with Adrian Turvey to whom her journal is dedicated. This year she writes:
It is thirty-six years today since I received my first letter from you and little did I know then the effect this was to have on my life and which was to last until now and, I am sure, until the end. When you told me that you did not think you would live much longer, this in December 1946, I replied that whatever happened I would never regret having known and loved you. And so it is, and now, in this month of Orchids, I think sadly that our main hope was that we might, some day, look for Orchids together. This was never to be, alas, and the sight of them now brings pain with my joy.

Article series
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 1)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 2)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 3)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 4)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 5)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 6)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 7)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 8)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 9)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 10)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 11)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 12)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 13)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 14)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 15)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 16)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 17)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 18)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 19)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 20)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 21)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 22)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 23)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 24)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 25)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 26)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 27)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 28)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 29)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 30)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 31)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 32)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 33)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 34)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 35)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 36)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 37)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 38)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 39)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 40)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 41)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 42)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 43)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 44)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 45)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 46)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 47)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 48)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 49)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 50)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 51)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 52)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 53)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 54)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 55)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 56)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 57)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 58)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 59)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 60)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 61)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 62)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 63)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 64)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 65)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 66)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 67)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 68)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 69)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 70)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 71)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 72)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 73)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 74)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 75)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 76)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 77)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 78)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 79)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 80)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 81)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 82)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 83)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 84)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 85)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 86)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 87)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 88)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 89)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 90)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 91)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 92)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 93)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 94)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 95)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 96)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 97)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 98)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 99)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 100)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 101)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 102)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 103)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 104)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 105)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 106)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 107)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 108)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 109)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 110)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 111)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 112)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 113)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 113)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 114)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 115)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 116)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 117)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 118)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 119)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 120)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 121)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 122)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 123)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 124)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 125)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 126)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 127)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 128)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 129)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 130)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 131)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 132)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 133)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 134)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 135)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 136)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 137)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 138)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 139)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 140)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 141)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 142)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 143)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 144)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 145)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 146)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 147)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 148)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 149)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 150)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 151)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 152)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 153)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 154)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 155)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 156)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 157)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 158)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 159)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 160)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 161)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 162)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 163)
- Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 164)
Leave a Reply