Chandler's Ford Today

science

Keeping us Cheerful – the Windmills of my Mind

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On April Fools’ Day 2019, I had the following letter published in the Daily Telegraph:

Sir,

Every lawn in my road has been devastated by crows frantically digging for chafer grubs. The day they started on my lawn I ordered two hundred and fifty children’s windmills and placed them over the entire grassed area of my front garden. That was five months ago and not one crow has ventured into our garden and our grass has flourished. These colourful windmills are a great source of entertainment for families walking up and down the street – one or two have even spread into neighbouring gardens.

Having had success, I decided to harness the potential of each windmill by modifying them to become miniature wind turbines, interconnecting them and linking them to the National Grid. The power that is generated reduces the cost of my electricity bill by approximately 25%.

In these challenging Brexit times when we all have to become more self- sufficient, I offer this simple, yet effective scheme to save your readers money – and to fend off crows.

Sincerely,

We have given away literally hundreds of windmills to little – and not so little – children.
“I ordered two hundred and fifty children’s windmills and placed them over the entire grassed area of my front garden.”

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What to do in Lockdown

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A Happy New Year to all Chandler’s Ford Today readers. Is there anything to be happy about? The only good news is that I have had the first of my vaccination jabs against COVID-19 (the Pfizer-BioN Tech for the techies, I can even tell you the Batch number if you like). The next one is due on Jan 9th. Then, at the end of January, I shall be free, protected, like a modern-day knight in armour. The vaccine is 95% effective. Does that mean that, if I get COVID, it will only be 5% as bad as expected? Or does it mean one in 20 of us might get COVID? More important is, although I am protected, could I spread the virus to others?

More important still is that the AstraZenaca vaccine is now approved and is more robust in that it is easier to store and distribute.

Vaccine Image via Kaboompics
Vaccine Image via Kaboompics

Party Outdoors

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Life in a Pandemic: Who am I?

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There is a story of a pompous man pushing into the front of and airport check-in queue. The check-in girl tells him to go to the back of the queue. ‘Do you know who I am?’ asks the man. The check-in girl asks the queue, ’can anyone help? This man does not know who he is.’

I sympathise with this man, not because of pushing into a queue, but because I am not known by my name any longer. The days when I heard people say, ‘Hello, Mike, nice to see you,’ have gone because, in COVID protection mode, no one sees me.

kaboompics - man working on a computer
Image via Kabookpics

Reduced to a Binary Digit

I am known to my computer but only as a string of digits. The screen wants to know my ID number, password, authentication code, admin password, username, wireless key, PIN, account number or registration key. Then there are numbers and codes sent to my phone which last only an hour or so. If I go to a bar or restaurant, my phone communicates with a QR code. I can text my order and someone brings drinks. [Read more…] about Life in a Pandemic: Who am I?

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Pandemics and Epidemics – I have been locked-down for 100 days

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By the time you read this, I will have been locked-down for 100 days, from March 9th in fact.

This is not the first epidemic or pandemic I have experienced. The first, in 1961, amounted to nothing very much but, without prompt action, it could have been even more serious than the present one.

I returned home to my student flat late one night to find the door locked and bolted. I rang and banged and shouted and eventually my flat-mate, Taffy, appeared on the balcony.

‘You can’t come in, mate.’

‘Stop messing around, Taffy and let me in.’

‘Can’t, it’s smallpox.’

‘There’s no smallpox here. Let me in.’

Lockdown for 100 days
Lockdown for 100 days

‘But there is in South Wales and in Bradford. We are possible contacts because we spent the weekend in South Wales. We are in quarantine for 10 days and must have no contact with anyone. Public Health sends someone around with food which they leave at the door.’ [Read more…] about Pandemics and Epidemics – I have been locked-down for 100 days

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Prosody

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It’s not what you say, it’s the way that you say it. The panel game, Just a Minute depends on it. My granddaughter (aged 6) wrote a performance poem about the programme. I have kept the original spelling:-

This is

Cklap, cklap, cklap

A game of

Cklap, cklap, cklap

Consontrashon

Clap, clap, clap

No repeets

Clap, clap, clap

Or hesetaison

Clap, clap, clap

I’ll go first

Clap, clap, clap

And I’ll go second

Clap, clap, clap

Subject is

Clap, clap, clap

Enithing.

By GT

Jan 2020

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Care in a Time of COVID

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We are beginning to think of ending the lock-down. How different will it be afterwards?

That little strand of RNA wrapped up as COVID-19 has altered our behaviour. It has shut our institutions; schools, universities, travel, industries, retail and the legal system. Health, policing, food and pharmacy remain active with some local travel.

Some of us have been able to work from home and found it satisfactory. A friend is wondering why he keeps a London office; a weekly meeting in an office hired for half a day may be sufficient. Others strive to work amid the domestic activities of children and housework. The fashion for open-plan living areas in houses has not helped.

Coronavirus image by Karolina Grabowska

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What’s Your Poison?

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What’s yours? A question asked in bars around the country; whisky, gin, beer. In another context, the question is not asked, because most of us are not interested, but the answer is given at length. What’s your disease?

There is no one so proud as the, now recovered, person describing how baffling and serious their disease has been. ‘None of the doctors knew what it was; I even saw the professor and he did not know.’

bear having a cold image Myriams-Fotos via Pixabay

I eavesdropped on one such conversation at a drinks party. The man described his symptoms well and insisted that the disease was a mystery. I interrupted and asked, did he suffer from diarrhoea and vomiting about two weeks before the illness started? How did I know? He had not realised that this was the start of the illness. [Read more…] about What’s Your Poison?

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Progress and Success and How to Judge Them

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My Oxford Compact dictionary defines progress as forward movement, advance, development, improvement and almost everyone seeks it in many areas of life. Despite the straightforward definition, it can be hard to define if you’ve achieved progress. Not everything can be measured… Even when it can be, progress can genuinely be slow. What matters overall is that there is some!

As for success, the dictionary defines it as accomplishment of aim, favourable outcome, attainment of wealth/fame etc.

Shakespeare contributed many words to the dictionary though he didn't know it at the time - Pixabay
The dictionary definitions of progress and success do not indicate how quickly these things come, if they come at all. Pixabay

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Chinese Take-away Meal

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A short while back I went for a Chinese Take-away meal. I was served by a youngster aged between seven and eight years old. She tapped my order on to a computer screen which transmitted details to the kitchen staff, then calculated the cost of my order, which I paid, and very professionally counted out my change.

‘Please don’t read that paper’

I then began to read the newspaper which was lying on the counter, but the girl said ‘Please don’t read that paper’. I looked puzzled and she added, ‘Please, I don’t want you to read that paper’. Facing such strongly expressed feelings I decided not to read the paper and pushed it to one side. [Read more…] about Chinese Take-away Meal

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Your Guide to Nerve Gas

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Here is what you need to know about nerve gas in relation to the events in Salisbury. Nerve gases are a terrible and frightening weapon but, if you survive an attack, you will be OK, unlike after a conventional injury which may leave you without a limb or full of shrapnel.

For much of my professional life, I have flirted with nerve gases. A dangerous thing to do you might think but interesting and important as recent events in Salisbury have shown.

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Why isn’t Mental Illness a Brain Disease?

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Illness is illness – impairment of normal function of part or all of the body. Why, then, do we have illness and mental illness as if they are different things? We all fall ill from time to time, it may be an infection, heart disease, liver, bones, joints, any organ including the brain. But when it comes to the brain we call it mental illness and it carries stigma. [Read more…] about Why isn’t Mental Illness a Brain Disease?

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Give a Girl Some Graphite

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For a pre-Christmas treat I took my wife on a special trip. She dressed beautifully in mainly white with her large sunhat and a pair of gold lame shoes. I like to give a girl a good time and I had heard of this place up in the hills near Kurunegalla in the centre of Sri Lanka. Not many girls get a chance to visit there.

We drove up a narrow lane through an attractive area of jungle to a small settlement with a couple of bungalows and installations of mining equipment. [Read more…] about Give a Girl Some Graphite

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Animal, Vegetable, or Neither?

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Now the season of mists and mellow fruitfulness is upon us, we can expect to see mushrooms, moulds, fungi and toadstools.

There must have been some along the walks through the water meadows between Winchester and St Cross taken by Keats during his stay in Winchester in 1819. All manner of autumnal things are mentioned in his Ode to Autumn but fungi are not included. Read it for yourself here. [Read more…] about Animal, Vegetable, or Neither?

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Should We be Charged for Visits to the GP?

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Should we be charged for visits to the GP?

I heard a report on the radio this week about an article in the British Medical Journal discussing the pros and cons of imposing charges on patients for visits to the GP surgery. [Read more…] about Should We be Charged for Visits to the GP?

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Tropical Diseases – What You Need to Know

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Tropical diseases? Not your problem? Oh yes they are and not just because of the need for anti-malarials when you go on holiday.

I heard about some of the problems and successes at the first International Meeting on Tropical Medicine to be held in the University of Peradeniya in Sri Lanka. I went along and learned a few thing of general interest. [Read more…] about Tropical Diseases – What You Need to Know

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Travellers Need Brains

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Are you a tourist or a traveller?

With the holiday season upon us, you have probably already decided. Travelling can be nerve-wracking. What’s the difference?

Shall we say that a traveller decides where to go and arranges it, but a tourist buys a dream sold by a travel company. [Read more…] about Travellers Need Brains

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Forced Landing

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Our gliding flights in the Pyrenees were going well. A friendly rivalry arose with the two pilots of another glider and we were determined to outdo one another.

Today was my turn as pilot in command of our 2 seater, Whisky Bravo. The tug plane took us from Santa Cilia airfield on the Spanish side of the Pyrenees towards the local hill where there was some rising air. [Read more…] about Forced Landing

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Comet Rendezvous

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Today one of the boldest, most audacious and exacting feats of space engineering will be attempted. The European Space Agency (ESA) will attempt to land Philae, a lander module, from the Rosetta spacecraft onto a comet known as 67P Churyunov.

Rosetta has already made 3 orbits around the sun and is near to completing a fourth. [Read more…] about Comet Rendezvous

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Fluoridation – Have We Tripped Ourselves Up?

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We are not to have fluoridation in this part of the country. Southampton City Council is against it. We have to ask why and our leaders do not tell us.

There is no doubt that our dental health is poor and that fluoridation is a cheap and effective way of improving it. [Read more…] about Fluoridation – Have We Tripped Ourselves Up?

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Shower Science

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It’s surprising what scientific principles are illustrated when taking a shower. Here are three that I have observed recently:

Do you remember those 1980s showers that were fed (via the hot water cylinder) from the cold water cistern in the roof? The cold water storage tank was only a few feet above the shower, so there was insufficient water pressure to give a decent flow at the shower. [Read more…] about Shower Science

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