Chandler's Ford Today

Mike Sedgwick

Cancer Ward – My Story

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Half of us will have cancer at some time in our lives. By far the most common is prostate cancer for men and breast cancer for women. These exceed lung, bowel, ovary and testicular cancers by a factor of 2 or more.

I never asked for a PSA (Prostate-Specific Antigen) test, but I got one anyway when my GP checked me over one day. The result was high, so did I mind if he did a rectal examination. I said it would be OK if he promised not to enjoy it any more than I would.

Image via kaboompics
Image via kaboompics

‘You’ve got cancer there. It’s a decent-sized lump but still in the prostate, hasn’t spread. We’ll zap it with radiotherapy; surgery is not a sensible option. It’s 99% curable for five years, and you might die of something else in the meantime.’ My doctor is a straight-talking man, I was pleased not to be offered surgery. When I was a junior doctor, I assisted in prostatectomy operations and looked after the patients afterwards. I was called up most nights to deal with blocked catheters or excessive bleeding. Later on, many of the men suffered urinary infections and other complications. [Read more…] about Cancer Ward – My Story

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It’s All Greek to Me

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In my head, and probably in yours too, there is a jumble of memories of ancient Greeks — old men, bald and with beards, who did stupid but essential things. There is one who overflowed his bath and ran naked down the street. One drank hemlock, and another lived in a barrel; one married his mother. They fought a lot, invented gods and wrote unreadable books. And they were good at geometry.

I resurrected one of these weirdos from my memory; they all look the same, dressed in chitons or togas and sandals. I first made the acquaintance of this one when I was 12 years old, Pythagoras by name. He died about 500 years BCE, but he was clever with triangles.

‘Pythagoras, please help me. I need a length of rope to hang from a high branch on a tree to make a swing. How long should it be? I can’t get up there to measure the height.’

"Pythagoras, please help me!"
“Pythagoras, please help me!”

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The Mighty Oak

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The mighty oak (Quercus rubor), the one in the centre of our garden is due for a haircut, we decided. Visitors comment on our lovely garden – but such a shame about the oak tree – all that shade. If they lived here, they would chop it down, except that it is subject to a tree preservation order.

If the tree was chopped, there would be an open space. The summer sun would beat relentlessly down, and an umbrella would be needed. I would miss the sturdy black limbs etched against a grey winter sky with the playful skitter of squirrels among the branches. I would miss the birds, there are two magpies in the branches as I write, and hundreds of others birds visit to feed on the myriad of insects living in the nooks and crannies of the bark. Blue tits nest in the attached birdbox and tree creepers and the nuthatch hang, head down, to feed.

Tree clipping - Paul climbed 20 M or so into the topmost branches with his chainsaw swinging from his belt.
Tree clipping – Paul climbed 20 M or so into the topmost branches with his chainsaw swinging from his belt.

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What to do in Lockdown

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A Happy New Year to all Chandler’s Ford Today readers. Is there anything to be happy about? The only good news is that I have had the first of my vaccination jabs against COVID-19 (the Pfizer-BioN Tech for the techies, I can even tell you the Batch number if you like). The next one is due on Jan 9th. Then, at the end of January, I shall be free, protected, like a modern-day knight in armour. The vaccine is 95% effective. Does that mean that, if I get COVID, it will only be 5% as bad as expected? Or does it mean one in 20 of us might get COVID? More important is, although I am protected, could I spread the virus to others?

More important still is that the AstraZenaca vaccine is now approved and is more robust in that it is easier to store and distribute.

Vaccine Image via Kaboompics
Vaccine Image via Kaboompics

Party Outdoors

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Life in a Pandemic: Who am I?

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There is a story of a pompous man pushing into the front of and airport check-in queue. The check-in girl tells him to go to the back of the queue. ‘Do you know who I am?’ asks the man. The check-in girl asks the queue, ’can anyone help? This man does not know who he is.’

I sympathise with this man, not because of pushing into a queue, but because I am not known by my name any longer. The days when I heard people say, ‘Hello, Mike, nice to see you,’ have gone because, in COVID protection mode, no one sees me.

kaboompics - man working on a computer
Image via Kabookpics

Reduced to a Binary Digit

I am known to my computer but only as a string of digits. The screen wants to know my ID number, password, authentication code, admin password, username, wireless key, PIN, account number or registration key. Then there are numbers and codes sent to my phone which last only an hour or so. If I go to a bar or restaurant, my phone communicates with a QR code. I can text my order and someone brings drinks. [Read more…] about Life in a Pandemic: Who am I?

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Pandemics and Epidemics – I have been locked-down for 100 days

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By the time you read this, I will have been locked-down for 100 days, from March 9th in fact.

This is not the first epidemic or pandemic I have experienced. The first, in 1961, amounted to nothing very much but, without prompt action, it could have been even more serious than the present one.

I returned home to my student flat late one night to find the door locked and bolted. I rang and banged and shouted and eventually my flat-mate, Taffy, appeared on the balcony.

‘You can’t come in, mate.’

‘Stop messing around, Taffy and let me in.’

‘Can’t, it’s smallpox.’

‘There’s no smallpox here. Let me in.’

Lockdown for 100 days
Lockdown for 100 days

‘But there is in South Wales and in Bradford. We are possible contacts because we spent the weekend in South Wales. We are in quarantine for 10 days and must have no contact with anyone. Public Health sends someone around with food which they leave at the door.’ [Read more…] about Pandemics and Epidemics – I have been locked-down for 100 days

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Prosody

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It’s not what you say, it’s the way that you say it. The panel game, Just a Minute depends on it. My granddaughter (aged 6) wrote a performance poem about the programme. I have kept the original spelling:-

This is

Cklap, cklap, cklap

A game of

Cklap, cklap, cklap

Consontrashon

Clap, clap, clap

No repeets

Clap, clap, clap

Or hesetaison

Clap, clap, clap

I’ll go first

Clap, clap, clap

And I’ll go second

Clap, clap, clap

Subject is

Clap, clap, clap

Enithing.

By GT

Jan 2020

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Through Eastleigh Airport to Colombo

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In these strange and uncertain times of lockdown, it is good to find a story of a man who, by determination, perseverance and skill, managed to break the involuntary lockdown after World War II and get back home.

James Peter Obeysekere, known as Obey, was a law student at Trinity College, Cambridge when World War II broke out. He elected to stay on to complete his studies but then, could not get home to Colombo, Ceylon (as it was). He had learned to fly with the Cambridge University Air Squadron and had done some aircraft ferrying duties and worked for the Royal Observer Corps during the war. [Read more…] about Through Eastleigh Airport to Colombo

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VE Day 75 in Chandler’s Ford – Memories of the Original VE Day

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Lakewood Road decided to have a socially separated street party yesterday for VE75. I replied to the invitation and said I was at an original VE day party. Several people expressed an interest in the comments so I thought Chandler’s Ford Today might like to see them. As it turns out, I am not the only one who attended an original party.
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Care in a Time of COVID

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We are beginning to think of ending the lock-down. How different will it be afterwards?

That little strand of RNA wrapped up as COVID-19 has altered our behaviour. It has shut our institutions; schools, universities, travel, industries, retail and the legal system. Health, policing, food and pharmacy remain active with some local travel.

Some of us have been able to work from home and found it satisfactory. A friend is wondering why he keeps a London office; a weekly meeting in an office hired for half a day may be sufficient. Others strive to work amid the domestic activities of children and housework. The fashion for open-plan living areas in houses has not helped.

Coronavirus image by Karolina Grabowska

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Graffiti

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Banksy has recently created another graffiti; the press goes wild about a competent painting on an ugly blank wall. It is graffiti and not graffito, the singular form is not in use. Banksy’s graffiti is hailed as Art. Why? Why, in a country with at least ten universities giving degrees in art and design, with independent art schools and with flourishing art groups throughout the land; why is a single piece of graffiti something of an event? [Read more…] about Graffiti

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Tell Me a Story

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At the back of a class of 5-year-olds, I watched a teacher telling a story. Thirty children sat silent and still with mouths agape and eyes fixed on the storyteller. The story, like most children’s stories, held a moral. It was Big Bell and Little Bell. Here was the power of storytelling.

story image by Tumisu via Pixabay

Most of us can remember being told stories. I remember a story about a man pulling a sword from a rock. Grandfather told stories of engineering feats that went wrong. There was a railway engine whose boiler burst as it tried to climb Lickey Incline near Birmingham and how bank engines were provided afterwards to help the climb. [Read more…] about Tell Me a Story

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What’s Your Poison?

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What’s yours? A question asked in bars around the country; whisky, gin, beer. In another context, the question is not asked, because most of us are not interested, but the answer is given at length. What’s your disease?

There is no one so proud as the, now recovered, person describing how baffling and serious their disease has been. ‘None of the doctors knew what it was; I even saw the professor and he did not know.’

bear having a cold image Myriams-Fotos via Pixabay

I eavesdropped on one such conversation at a drinks party. The man described his symptoms well and insisted that the disease was a mystery. I interrupted and asked, did he suffer from diarrhoea and vomiting about two weeks before the illness started? How did I know? He had not realised that this was the start of the illness. [Read more…] about What’s Your Poison?

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Snakes and the Supernatural in Sri Lanka

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Eclipse

Fifteen years to the day after the terrible Tsunami swept across Sri Lanka, another powerful natural phenomenon struck awe and even fear for some of the rural people. The morning sky turned dark.

We had travelled upcountry to a place called Naula, close to the line taken by the total eclipse of the sun. Our friends packed a welder’s visor in their overnight bag. I thought David, an engineer, was planning to do some welding when we reached our destination, but it was his wife who had the foresight. She follows events in the heavens and told us of the eclipse.

When the time came there was cloud cover which was fortunate for me as I managed to take photographs of the eclipse through the clouds. In between the clouds, we observed the eclipse through the visor.

Observing the eclipse from Sri Lanka
Observing the eclipse from Sri Lanka

The cook and some of the staff where we stayed thought it was an intervention of the gods and wanted to go to the temple. Many people did visit temples, churches, kovils and mosques but it was the schoolteachers who could tell them what was happening. We collected the staff and let them all have a look through the visor. One of our Sri Lankan friends explained what was happening, but I am not sure we convinced them all.

Eclipse viewed through cloud. For the techies - Exposure 1:2000th second, f8, 129mm, ISO 80 Camera - Lumix DMC-TZ80
Eclipse viewed through cloud. For the techies – Exposure 1:2000th second, f8, 129mm, ISO 80 Camera – Lumix DMC-TZ80

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Queen’s English styled by Jacob Rees-Mogg Esq. M.P.

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News for all writers on how to write? Previously I have relied on what I was taught by teachers, with the aid of raps on the knuckles with a ruler in earlier years. Now we have the advantage of the new Rees-Mogg Style Guide which recommends the use of Esq. which needs a full stop but Miss and Ms doesn’t. He declines to advise on how the write the plural of Ms. (I put the stop here as it is the end of a sentence.)

Unacceptable Words

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Sri Lankan Bombings

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I have visited Sri Lanka over 15 times now, living there for several months every year for the last 10 years. Early visits were during the civil war and there were inconveniences such as roadblocks, curfews and limitations on travel.

On one occasion my friends arranged an escort to the airport. There were no problems with me giving lectures at the University and to audiences containing Sinhala and Tamils. [Read more…] about Sri Lankan Bombings

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Elephant Hunt

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Edward, Prince of Wales, born 1841, had a reputation as a playboy. One of his 55 mistresses was Alice Keppel whose great-granddaughter, Camilla Parker Bowles, became the mistress and then wife of the present Prince of Wales. Edward became King Edward VII on the death of his mother, Queen Victoria, in 1901. The Prince’s other great interest in life was shooting animals.

This transcript from The Times reports a visit of the Prince of Wales to Ceylon in 1875 and relates how the highest dignitaries of the British Empire enjoyed a day out in the jungle. [Read more…] about Elephant Hunt

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What’s not on the Menu

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It is pleasant to be offered a small savoury amuse bouche in a restaurant to savour before your meal arrives. Also, to be offered a post-prandial mint chocolate or small liquor.

Restaurants theme themselves to appear more interesting. The Cricketers out here in Colombo is decorated with bats, balls and stumps. The Slug and Lettuce chain may be themed but I have no intention of finding our as neither are to my taste. [Read more…] about What’s not on the Menu

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