family

Gran has a difficult time; support from all quarters; a memento from Tommy’s tree; letters to Auntie Bunnie; Grampa – a lovely, cheerful patient; solace in the garden; a simple Funeral Service; a family Christmas; Paul brings gifts, and a wedding to look forward to.

Difficulties at home continue for Gran.  Grampa is increasingly frail and unwell, more or less confined to bed and needing daily nursing care, and, Gran says on November 1st 1986 , “The plumber came and cleared the airlock in the downstairs hot water tap and is coming to deal with the overflow pipe in the toilet and the leak under the sink”.  Jane Elizabeth has been a wonderful support for Gran, her Mother-in-law, at this time but she needs to return to Bushey on the 2nd and Gran is sorry to see her go, writing also:

She meant to leave me half of the large brown loaf she bought yesterday but forgot.  She phoned from Winchester Station to say she had left it in the grit bin by the Hiltingbury Road bus stop and luckily, Cousin Bill Worsfold came at 11 a.m. so I was able to go and get it while he was here with Bill.

Gran has mentioned several of her husband’s relatives or friends lately, as they visit Grampa at The Ridge, but we are not always enlightened as to their relationships to him.  There is not only Bill Worsfold, but also Cousin Ray, who has often provided transport for Grampa; Anthony (a nephew) and his wife Hazel; Joan and Ken Birch (“Bill’s half-sister and her husband”, Gran writes), and Joan and Alastair McKenzie (“Joan is his Cousin”, Gran tells us).

“I made a bad beginning with tummy ache after I had taken Bill his breakfast and was sick just as nurse came to the front door”, she writes on November 4th, continuing:

I called that I was coming but I look so ghastly when this happens, she was very concerned and made me sit down and made me a cup of tea.  I assured her that I do this occasionally but soon feel perfectly alright.  After attending to Bill she took my pulse and blood pressure, both of which were perfectly normal, which is reassuring!  Ruth came in, with a stick, because she saw me looking to see if she were about.  She has broken and chipped ribs!

Joan and Alastair came early this afternoon and whilst they were talking to me, we heard a thump and Bill had fallen.  Alastair picked him up and got him back into bed!

The following day sees Grampa taken by ambulance to the South Hants Hospital in Southampton, because he has lost all feeling from the waist down.  There is much concern throughout the Family and amongst close friends.  Bob Fowler and his daughter Jill visit Gran to give moral support, and Gran is delighted to receive from them, “… some very gorgeous red Maple leaves from Tommy’s favourite tree”.  She presses them within the journal.  Further support is provided by Barry on the 6th, who, given the beauty of the day, suggests a drive up to Farley Mount, where Gran delights in the beautiful colours, especially of the fruiting Spindles there.

[Read more…] about Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 180)

Stonehenge – not what it once was; Gran hides her ailments; Grampa – a last trip to Farley Mount; an obliging Home Help; two Redstarts in the garden; a communication from the Arctic; Granny Pickford is 100, and farewell to “Tommy” Fowler;

Book 227

On September 10th 1986, after the Nurse has visited The Ridge to check on Grampa, and Gran understanding that things are “somewhat easier”, she goes on the Club outing to Marlborough, having “something of a scramble to be ready…”

Gran describes all she sees on the coach journey, including:

We stopped at Stonehenge at 2.45 for twenty minutes but I did not leave the coach as I have been to the monument many times since my teens when access was freely available with no fences or circling pathways.  I did not want a cup of tea or an ice cream at this time.

Pulmonaria – not found; an unexpected First Day Cover; trips to Arundel and Lulworth; two creditable performances; Gran crawls downstairs; a Royal Wedding; a kind gentleman; travels in the North; Grampa is taken ill; news from Fin; a day at Marwell Zoo, and difficult times ahead.

It’s May 14th 1986 and more memories are brought to the fore for Gan three days later when she walks to the Club for its usual afternoon meeting:

Miss Wise, late Headmistress of Sherborne House School, who, when an assistant to her Mother, taught Barry and Jane to read, entertained us with poems she had written after her retirement.  I had a chat with her and she was pleased to hear news of Barry and Jane, and quite amazed that their children are grown up and Barry a grandfather!

Barry himself is in Chandler’s Ford at this time and he and his Mother, in spite of wet weather, make the now rather rare journey into her beloved New Forest, to look for flowers and birds.  They have a lovely time there and on the nearby coast, although failing to find a rare plant of particular significance to her upsets Gran:

We went first to look for [Narrow-leaved] Lungwort Pulmonaria longifolia in its usual habitat near Beaulieu but to our horror, there was no sign of it.  Council workers, I presume, had thrown large quantities of thick mud right over the ditch and bank where it had flourished for years.

[Read more…] about Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 178)

Another wetting during a visit to the Brenans; an “extraordinary letter”; last show at the Gaumont; kindness at the V.G.; a 50th Anniversary; farewell to Joan Spurgin; Tom on the telly; Barry’s new book; news from Scotland; Katie’s new “bloke”; solitude at St Cross, and Pitcairn Island – “where Daddy used to have dealings with the Islanders”.

Christmas is looming and on breezy December 21st 1985 Gran, as always, has made presents for her great friends, the Hardings in Merdon Avenue.  She writes:

… I took Mary’s posy and other gift, and calendar for Granny Pickford [Mary’s Mother], and walked through the pinewood to avoid as much of the wind as possible.  Both recipients were delighted and especially Mary with her innovation.  I did not stay long but met Mary’s brother George, and Frank brought me home.  He is able to play some golf again, I was pleased to hear.

Christmas in is spent with daughter Jane and family at Longton, near Preston and close to the Ribble marshes. On arrival there, Gran is touched to find that Jane, “… has given me her room, to be convenient for my comfort just across the landing.  We were late retiring…”

Dec 24th provides an evening of television programmes, before they attend a local Church for Midnight Service – a new experience for Gran. Gran lists the programmes: The Slipper and the Rose; Benjamin Luxman and Aled Jones in a musical one; and Rush, the Fallow Deer, by John and Simon King.  This was followed by Charles and Diana, a Working Year, and then Val Doonigan [sic]. Gran notes that the Church they attend is where Judy usually goes and she adds, “I had earlier met Judy and found her very nice indeed”. [Read more…] about Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 177)

Not impressed by trendy worship; unwell but still gardening; disappointment after a dream; a proud day; two “wretched” warblers; a week in Cornwall; Julian runs a marathon; a nasty fall; Gran sends flowers; Grampa needs an operation and Halley’s Comet is overhead.

Gran does not feel well on September 1st 1985 – she often feels sick and unable to eat, has troublesome back pain and sometimes is very sleepy.  After a two-hour afternoon sleep this Sunday, and not eating owing to a prolonged bout of acute hiccups, she watches television but finds it disappointing at first, saying this:

“Songs of Praise” [came] from the Greenpeace Festival and consisted of all pop versions of worship, appealing only to youngsters who were wound up to such a frenzy of clapping, dancing and arm waving, which left me wondering if it were a great love of God or only of Pop “music”.  A later programme about English silk was very interesting and enlightening.

Her ailments, considered by stoical Gran as simple inconveniences, rarely prevent her doing what she wishes, so, on September 17th:

This afternoon I gardened for just over an hour, weeding more of the Crocus – Cyclamen bed, which was made difficult by the presence of many minute new cyclamen seedlings, with only one tiny leaf showing amongst the moss and the insidious Sheep’s Sorrel.  I also dug up some Brambles, Goutweed and Ivy, after which I was very tired and came in and slept for close on an hour.

A canal trip; the Falklands Fallen – remembered; a visit to Swithun Wells School; Sherborne House – 50 years old; woodworm in the furniture; orchids on Shawford Down; Gran is sent flying; farewell Josie; Gran flies a kite, and Grampa – not well.

Gran has joined several coach tours, mainly to the West Country, in recent months, organised through her Club.  She enjoys noting the passing scenery and wayside flowers but is often frustrated by stops for refreshments and shopping.  She usually wanders off on her own at these times.

On June 12th 1985 there is a half-day outing into Berkshire, which includes a canal trip:

We went over a level crossing towards Hampstead Marshall where the Kennet and Avon Canal was our stopping area… Our barge, the Avon, was awaiting us and after we embarked, I learnt that it was purpose-built for these excursions but on the traditional narrow-boat principle though now is a motor barge and not horse-drawn as originally… The windows were large with seats all round and a little shop and bar at one end.  I bought a little ribbon plate for Ruth, a thimble with our barge on it for Sue, a booklet, “On the Kennet and Avon” and a biro for myself.

Rob wins a chess tournament; “nobody wants to go away with an old woman”; observations on a Rook; a last flower painting?; a lovely day; an outing with Ruth; a talk by Roy Lancaster; a memory of Italy; “life is difficult just now”, and the Mayor tells Gran she’s been busy.

March 2nd 1985 is not a pleasant day for Gran: there is some domestic conflict and she writes:

After an unpleasant morning of continual complaints, I spent the afternoon in my room, wishing to be alone in tranquil and quiet surroundings.  I mostly read Arthur Marshall’s book. “Life’s Rich Pageant” and had a short nap.  This evening more reading and listening to the radio and, later I stuck in today’s cutting about Julian.

The cutting is from The Daily Telegraph concerning Julian’s decision not to run in the National Cross Country Championships, owing to a heavy cold. But the following day, after the race is run, she is pleased to read in The Sunday Telgraph that the first eight home in yesterday’s National Cross Country have been chosen for the England team, “plus Julian Goater who has been so consistent always”. [Read more…] about Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 174)

A Club Christmas dinner; “disgusting behaviour” by Connors; Christmas with the neighbours; a “superb boy soloist”; Adrian -remembered; bitter weather; radiotherapy for a fortnight; red and black Adders; along the River; a Tristan cardigan, and some antiques.

It is December 14th 1984, “My driver”, Gran writes:

… called for me at 10.15 this morning to take me to hospital again to have part of the spot cut out for analysis… the operation, under local anaesthetic, did not take too long and I was home by 12.20.  I had taken ham rolls in case I was much later, but had one after soup at home.  I am perfectly well and am to see Dr Charlewood on Wednesday or Thursday to have the stitches out.

Gran and some other Club members are picked up by coach in Kingsway for transporting to their Christmas dinner on the 15th, and Gran has clearly managed to produce the required floral table decorations, asked for at short notice.  She writes:

… as I stood with the table decorations, a lady came and asked me if they were for sale, and another, who lives over the wine shop, and knows Ruth, said she had seen a copy of my “Te Deum”, [recently read out at one of her Club meetings] which Mrs Burton has and she wanted to know if she might read it to a prayer meeting to which she goes.  I gave her permission…

[Read more…] about Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 173)

Pacified by stamps; transport to Church – briefly; Lou Meadon is 89; Jane – “back in the bushes” after some successful golf; in demand for flower arranging; Granny Pickford is 98; Barbara Hillier’s book – published; grave news of Tommy; whist drives – surprisingly stressful; an uplifting “God bless you”; the Kingston girls do well, and an appointment at the “South Hants”.

Book 215

At home at The Ridge on September 29th 1984, Gran does not hear the early arrival of the postman and coming downstairs finds:

… there was a Post Office card on the mat, saying that it had not been possible to deliver a registered package and it must be signed for and collected from the Post Office in Eastleigh.  So I had to go there this morning but I was pacified when I found that it was stamps and coloured postcards from Tristan da Cunha.  The stamps were featuring the constellations in “the night sky at Tristan da Cunha” and, as always, are very attractive.  Also mentioned in the bulletin was the cottage craft of knitting garments from native Tristan wool, and those collecting the stamps are offered the chance of purchasing them.  I have ordered a cardigan but it will be months before it comes.  There was a Speckled Wood flying about in the sunshine…

Gran has not forgotten the presumed theft of her painting of an Early Spider Orchid while it was on show a few years ago, but she still remains pleased to be able to exhibit some of her work in order to raise money.  On October 2nd:

In the Parish Magazine (Compton) today there was an appeal for funds for urgent repairs to the 800 year old Church, so I phoned Mr Ovenden to ask if he thought enough parishioners would be interested in seeing my paintings.  I explained there would be some difficulty as, since one was stolen when I lent them out some time ago, Barry has said they must not go out of the house.   Mr Ovenden thought it a splendid idea and he agreed to give some thought to it.  He is going to pick me up or arrange for someone else to, for the Family Service in Church at 10 a.m. on Sunday and once monthly in future.  I shall feel better if I can go.

And a few days later:

… Mr and Mrs Paris, from Shawford, kindly called and said they would gladly call for me at 10 o’clock on Sunday morning to take me to Church and bring me home again.  Mr Paris has recently retired from the Solicitors Paris, Smith and Randal, who looked after Aunt Em’s affairs.  A very nice couple indeed..

In the “Echo” was a picture of Lou [Meadon], unrecognisable at 89 and dressed in an embroidered blouse and now living at Fleming House Home.  After having known her always in a black costume and hat, summer and winter, she now looked to be another person.  I wrote to Barry and Jane Elizabeth and sent this cutting…

[Read more…] about Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 172)

The highs and lows of being a Gran; Lady Wimbledon Champions; a Club holiday in Buxton; Prince Andrew -“a serious young man”; worries about Geoff; 80th birthday celebrations; a rapt silence as Gran reads; recollections passed to the Hilliers; good and bad behaviour at the Olympics; another Royal Prince is born, and a pleasant surprise at the VG.

Book 213

June 23rd 1984 Gran calls “A day of extreme emotions, starting most pleasurably and ending in great disappointment.”

Barry phoned and the Family has been making great efforts for my eightieth birthday celebrations and they can all manage the Monday 23rd July, the day after (except Andrew, who will be in Norway), and Julian and Sue want it at their house, Sue specially wanting to do the catering.  Barry and Jane go to France at 6 o’clock the next morning and will stay at Farnham on the Monday night and no-one will actually be here on my birthday.  That will not matter…

… but it was athletics that caused my heartache and disappointment.  Julian did run, but the 10,000 metres started late and only the early laps were shown and the introducer said the result would be given on the News at 5.55.  I became more and more nervous and was shattered when it was announced that Julian again ran third and did not qualify for the Olympic Games.  This is the second time he has missed out… I watched Val Doonigan’s [sic] show without my usual enthusiasm and enjoyment and have retired sick at heart for Julian.

[Read more…] about Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 171)

Grateful memories of Adrian; the death of a favourite author; belated advice for Chris Evert; Julian bids again for the Olympics; Rick, with birds, on the telly; Andy – a scholarship to Oslo; a great day in East Anglia; signs of age; enchanted by a little girl at the Lake; a kind response to a donation; the “guttersnipe”, John McEnroe; Gran meets Zola Budd, and has a fall.

Book 210

It is 1984 and on January 12^th, that most significant day in Gran’s life, she writes:

Julian is thirty-one today and I wish him very many happy returns of his birthday and a long life of happiness and success.

It is also thirty-seven years today since you, Adrian, my dear, passed out of this life and left me desolate but with grateful and happy memories and you have been in “my” life for ever since. You increased my love of nature and inspired me to paint the wild flowers that brought us together in spirit though we never met in person.  Julian is very special to me, not only because he was my first grandchild but because he came on the sixth anniversary of your passing and eased the pain in my heart…  It has been a lovely sunny day…

[Read more…] about Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 170)

Age Concern chaos; lucky Geoff; a sporting gesture; a good run in Oslo; trouble with bees; troops return; the Fowlers celebrate; peace and quiet at St Cross; Sherborne House School – 50 years old; orchids at Farley Mount; an inscription from 1890, and Spotted Flycatcher – still using the garden.

On Mid-summer’s Day 1982, Gran joins a coach trip to Mottisfont Abbey.  She is not usually one to complain, but the day leaves a lot to be desired in her view, even though she is delighted to find a Southern Marsh Orchid in flower on a grassy pathside when she manages to escape the crowds.  “The outing had been arranged”, she says:

… by Hampshire Age Concern and it was chaotic from the start, far too many old folk having been encouraged to go.  The coaches were not allowed to go into the Abbey car park, so that the approach road was completely blocked by the coaches, and the leading one had to disembark its passengers before the others in the queue could reach that point…  We were received at the Abbey grounds by the blaring of a ghastly hurdy-gurdy but after viewing the small part of the Abbey open to the public, I made for the river.

Lesser Whitefronts and a visit to The Studio; Cambridge – to be rejected; enjoying Torville and Dean; infuriated by the milkman; Eric Ashby and his “little green van”; a long walk; “Jenny’s beastly little cat”; next door has an intruder; “Mrs Hawkeye”, and the end of the Falkland Islands conflict.

A cloudy and mild day and one of great excitement, dawns for Gran on February 6th 1982, when Barry drives her to the Wildfowl Trust at Slimbridge, arriving at Rick’s home there, Moorend Farm Cottage, in time for breakfast with him, Beverly and young Tom. 

Several pages of the journal are dedicated to this visit, Gran enjoying special treatment, in particular access to bird-watching hides normally unavailable to the general public. 

She records a fine array of wild waterfowl including, within a flock of 4500 White-fronted Geese, the Bean Geese that had not impressed Princess Diana earlier in the winter, and also two rare Lesser White-fronted Geese, new to her, “… from a small hide to which Ricky took us, and, when he went to fetch some other visitors who particularly wanted to see them, I came away to make room for them…”, she writes.

Goater and Rono battle it out; a “magnificent doll” – not selected;  a day at Slimbridge; the rarest bird Gran ever saw; a “nice experience for Rick”; Christmas with the neighbours; Gran – path-beater; mittens for the VG manager, and Gran’s “little Wood Duck”.

The two families, Barry’s and Jane’s, depart Chandler’s Ford after the celebrations for Grampa’s 80th and Gran is left feeling lonely.  She says on August 25th 1981, just after the Brenans have left, “I dashed up to my whist drive, missing only the first hand and received a great welcome.  I did not want to be at home with all the family gone”.  However, Barry returns that evening, she says:

… to do some high house painting outside for us tomorrow and lured me down to the New Forest for some moth-hunting.  I was already very tired but I would never refuse such a chance so packed up some supper and left at 7.15.

Mother and son have a fairly unsuccessful time “sugaring” oak trees with treacle at Tantany Wood, attracting few moths and they return home by 10.30.  Gran, as usual, puts out food for the Hedgehog last thing, “after which”, she writes, “I tumbled, exhausted but soul-satisfied, into bed!”

House-painting is delayed until the afternoon of the following day.  Gran admits that, “Though tired, but unwilling to admit it, I accepted Barry’s offer for me to go along the river this morning and it was very beautiful, very warm, and the water clear”.  They also spend a brief time at Shawford Down looking without success for Chalkhill Blues, and Gran notes, “… the area is now so overgrown with coarse grass, the little downland foodplants have no chance”.

[Read more…] about Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 166)

“Rude” Tracy and “insufferable” McEnroe; a First Day Cover to treasure; The Black and White Minstrels – too loud; Joan Spurgin’s “boyfriend”; Mother’s dress; gifts on her 77th birthday; a Royal Wedding; questioned by the Police, and  Bill’s 80th.

Gran writes on June 20th 1981:  “I finished knitting the waistcoat, ironed the sixty-year old dress of Mother’s which I washed this morning and hope to wear for the Club’s Prince of Wales Party…”

June 24th:

The tour of Israel for the Lancashire Schools Symphony Orchestra has been cancelled owing to the unsettled situation there but the authorities are trying to fix up one in Switzerland instead.  Naturally Katie and Andy are disappointed but I think it is a wise decision.

The Championships at Wimbledon, as ever, provide Gran with interest in June and July, and, also as usual, she passes comment on the behaviour of some of the players.  So, on June 29th, when the number seven seed, Pam Schriver, defeats the number three seed, Tracy Austin, she says of the latter, “… as expected after her rude outburst to the Umpire in an earlier match, [she] was not a gracious loser, but Pam played bravely and deserved to win”.

July 1st:

Post brought my butterfly First Day Cover signed by Peter Scott, which will be amongst my treasures.  This afternoon I walked quickly up to the Club to join the coach for the drive through the New Forest to Bournemouth to see a performance of the Black and White Minstrels at the Pavilion.

[Read more…] about Forty Years in Chandler’s Ford – a Journal (Part 165)