I’ve been writing my Christmas cards this weekend. I’ve been using pretty much the same Christmas Card list that I’ve used for the last few years and it always strikes me that it contains a couple of anomalies.
Firstly, there are the people for whom our only communication is the annual Christmas card. Should I still bother sending them cards? Secondly, there are the people I know won’t send me a card. Should I still bother sending them cards?
The answer to both these questions is a resounding YES.
People on my Christmas card list were obviously once an important part of my life. Life moves on, and friends may wax and wane in their closeness, but isn’t it important to spend a few minutes each year letting them know that you still remember them?
For example, one couple I’ve known since I was in short trousers. They were family friends and their son and I were best friends at primary school. I’ve since fallen out of touch with the friend, but still swap Christmas cards with the parents. They are both frail and elderly now, but a Christmas card says more than “Merry Christmas”. It says “I still cherish the memories of those fun times we had when we were younger”.
In recent years, some people have told me that they will no longer send cards for cost reasons. This isn’t a view that I subscribe to. I think that a few minutes of my time and the cost of a stamp are expenses well worth it to let someone know that I still remember them. I write a short individual message on each card so the recipients know that, for a few minutes at least, I was thinking of them.
When I was a child, Dad would unearth the sheet of foolscap paper (anyone remember foolscap paper?) on which the Christmas card list from previous years was hand-written, and carefully rule two more columns for this years ‘sent’ and ‘received’ log. Anyone who hadn’t sent a card for two consecutive years was summarily removed. As the cards came in, the ‘received’ log was updated. We grew used to people’s individual greetings; even today if Dad mentions one of his old friends or a distant relation I can respond immediately with how they signed their Christmas cards.
Today, technology has moved my list from paper to spreadsheet. But I’ve stopped recording who I received cards from. It’s not important. I don’t send cards because I expect to receive one in return; I send cards because I want to wish my friends and family a Merry Christmas – free, gratis and for nothing.
Lovely post, I’d agree with those sentiments!
Interesting Chippy, as my thoughts as I wrote cards yesterday from a decade old list of names were exactly as yours … my conclusion, I am pleased to say, was, again, exactly as yours !!! … Somehow, not to send cards would not be Christmas, would it.
Chippy,
A lovely, thoughtful post. I’ll cancel my appointments this weekend to write some cards with proper messages. You’ve convinced me.
(Trivial: why is the paper called foolscap paper? I used them throughout my school years years ago.)
What’s your view as some people announce they’re not sending cards – instead they donate money to the charities. Some people say they’re saving the planet for not sending cards as some cards can’t be recycled.
May I ask in traditional households in slightly older days, was it normally men or women who were in charge of the Christmas list and updating the log?
Mike’s already given the origin of “foolscap” – and it concurs with what would have said. We used foolscap in year seven and eight, but by year nine it had given way to A4. i wonder if you can still easily buy foolscap.
I do tend to not send cards to colleagues and fellow members of clubs and societies – the people I only know because I work with them, or go to the same club meetings. I do donate to charity instead of these – usually one that helps the homeless.
Wikipedia says that the paper had a Fool’s Cap as a watermark. That is a cap with bells on it. Later the watermark was changed to the royal arms.
One reason for sending cards is to let people know that you are still alive. But is the recipient still alive? You won’t know unless you get a card back.
It always struck me as silly that we allow the card company to decide on the message we send and our only personal contribution is to scribble our names. One should be able to think of a word or two pertinent to the friend or relative and add them.
Lovely post, Chippy, and totally agree. There is a “story” behind each card we send.
I have been writing the Christmas cards every year since I was a child with neat handwriting.
I keep lists of who I sent to, who sent me but some people get a card regardless of whether they have ever sent me one or not. I just feel that for a few moments as I write a little message that I am thinking of them, lovely memories.
My pet hate are the people who announce on Facebook for example that they are not sending cards but donating to charity. Suspiciously I would like to see evidence of it! I buy cards from charities – that’s my clear and obvious donation.
Long live Christmas cards!
Yes, I get a little suspicious too. Or if they are donating just the cost of the Christmas card, the donation won’t go very far! I want to suggest that they both send Christmas cards AND donate to charity.
Something I’ve noticed with the Christmas post (possibly because it is the time of year when I receive most of my stamped mail) is how few stamps have been cancelled. Some have been crossed through by hand, but probably less than 50% have a proper cancelling stamp on them.
Does it mean you could soak the stamps, and re-use them? Perhaps the marks are so faint that you can’t see – so shouldn’t actually reuse the stamps? (I’m not saying you would attemp to re-use these stamps. I trust your integrity.)
Decades ago at university in another country, a student from my hometown got caught for re-using cancelled stamps – perhaps he added some wax on the stamps … or something like that. I remember the police was involved in the end.
I’m not sure that it’s illegal to re-use an uncancelled stamp – and if it were it would probably be ruled “not in the public interest” to prosecute for re-use of a few stamps. However, you know those slits that run across modern stamps? They are there so that the stamp will fall apart if you try to reuse it – so you are better off reusing the entire envelope.