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You are here: Home / Information / Part 3 – 101 Things to Put into Room 101

Part 3 – 101 Things to Put into Room 101

March 30, 2018 By Allison Symes 9 Comments

So resuming the next batch of things to go into Room 101, George Orwell’s famous creation, I am going to make myself mightily unpopular with some by suggesting:-

George Orwell – image via Pixabay

31. Snow

It is a pain! It is all very well if you don’t have to go anywhere (or you’re still up for tobogganing, which frankly I’m not), but if you do, it gets in the way, it’s hazardous, and the mess left behind as it thaws is also horrible to walk through.

I must admit though Lady had a wonderful time playing in it in the park and I kept warm following her progress as she ran with some four-legged friends. It was clear she hadn’t seen snow before as she kept trying to eat the flakes as they fell. Okay so my dog has been amused by the stuff. Fine, now can we banish it? I can find other ways in which Lady can have fun with her four-legged friends in the park!

Lady in the snow - image by Allison Symes (a very cold one at that at the time!)
Lady in the snow – image by Allison Symes (a very cold one at that at the time!)

32. Inaccurate Departure Boards

Departure boards always “assume” the bus or train you are waiting for has gone even though you know full well it hasn’t turned up yet. Things are really bad when you get “delayed” come up, especially on the train boards. You do already know it’s delayed. What you need to know is if the train is still going to run and “best guess” at the time of the delay.

Departure boards - fine as long as they're accurate. Problem is they sometimes aren't! Image via Pixabay
Departure boards – fine as long as they’re accurate. Problem is they sometimes aren’t! Image via Pixabay
Some boards can just make you feel like you're being got at! Image via Pixabay
Some boards can just make you feel like you’re being got at! Image via Pixabay
Still this kind of board might raise a smile. Image via Pixabay
Still this kind of board might raise a smile. Image via Pixabay

33. Milk cartons

Is it just me or are these a real pain to open without spilling the contents everywhere? On a related note…

This looks lovely but how much of it was spilt trying to get it out of the carton
This looks lovely but how much of it was spilt trying to get it out of the carton. Image via Pixabay

34. Sugar sachets

I don’t use these myself but others in my family do love sugar in their coffee. Firstly, the sachets are teeny. I don’t believe it is a teaspoon’s worth in there. Secondly, again, they are so awkward to open and it’s amazing where sugar can get to when spilt.

You'd never get this amount of sugar out of one sachet
You’d never get this amount of sugar out of one sachet. Image via Pixabay

35. Useless directions

I come across this a lot when away on conferences. You plan out your route from the train station to your conference centre and it’s an easily walked distance. So you get “on foot” directions. Several times I’ve discovered later missing information that, had I had it at the time, would’ve stopped me getting lost! I also know this isn’t just me as I know others this has happened to. Talking of getting lost…

Decisions, decisions - image via Pixabay
Decisions, decisions – image via Pixabay
So which is it to be? Image via Pixabay
So which is it to be? Image via Pixabay

36. Inadequate signposting on walks

It is useful to have enough signposts at reasonable intervals so you know for sure you are still going in the direction you meant to go. What I’ve come across are either no signposts or where there are massive gaps until the next one. Neither are helpful!

Do you know where you are going? Image via Pixabay
Do you know where you are going? Image via Pixabay

37. Teabags that split

Yuck! A mouthful of tealeaves isn’t great. You usually find these right at the bottom of the cup so no advance warning. Equally it may be just me.

Some nice choices of tea here but beware the split teabag
Some nice choices of tea here but beware the split teabag. Image via Pixabay (and yes other tea brands ARE available!)

38. Shoes that pinch after you’ve bought them

I’m sure many women will identify with this one. You’ve found shoes you love, you try them on in the shop and walk around in them. Perfect fit! You get them home and you decide to “christen” them. They are pinching your feet. At this point you may well express your disappointment forcefully!

Do you think her shoes are killing her feet? Image via Pixabay
Do you think her shoes are killing her feet? Image via Pixabay
Is it just me or does this not look comfortable? Image via Pixabay
Is it just me or does this not look comfortable? Image via Pixabay

39. Flour bags

This is probably just me again but I can’t open these things without sending up a small cloud of flour dust. Also if a flour bag does split, the contents will get everywhere. There has got to be a better way of packaging flour, surely?

I wish flour bags were more robust. Image via Pixabay
I wish flour bags were more robust. Image via Pixabay

40. Annoying Adverts

I must admit some adverts are clever, some are funny (and the very best are both. I have fond memories of the old Heineken Christmas ads where the “man” on the roadworks sign came to life having had his beer. I didn’t buy any. Not my particular drink but it was an entertaining enough advert).

However, there are plenty of adverts are not clever or funny. Right now as I prepare this at the end of March 2018, there is a radio advert for a certain car manufacturer who is trying to claim their product is as cherished as a new baby and that their car is your “pride and joy”. It may well be but to compare it to the wonder of new life is absurd and, to my mind, aggravating (it strikes me as being arrogant). Yes, I am remembering the advert but for all the wrong reasons. It’s annoying me!

Marketing Strategy or an annoying advert? You decide! Image via Pixabay
Marketing Strategy or an annoying advert? You decide! Image via Pixabay

41. Christmas/Easter “products” being put out on supermarket shelves far too early

As a Christian, Christmas and Easter have special significance for me and I don’t like the commercialisation of either. (Mind you, I’m sure plenty of others would agree with me even if they don’t share my faith). Like most people, I am partial to the odd hot cross bun and Easter egg. However, I could happily live without the first Cadbury’s Creme Egg turning up on the shelves on 27th December (yes, really!).

I would like to see Christmas chocolate not put out before the beginning of November. Easter eggs etc could go in the shops say February onwards, given Easter moves. However, I guess this is unlikely to happen as putting these things out so chronically early gives more money making opportunities, does it not? Hmm… me becoming cynical in my old age? Perish the thought!

Easter Eggs. Image via Pixabay
Easter Eggs. Image via Pixabay
Hot Cross buns. Image via Pixabay
Hot Cross buns. Image via Pixabay. (Also the tagline to an old gag – what do you call flustered rabbits?)

42. Flip flops

I’ve tried wearing these. I hate the things. They never feel right on my feet so I gave up on them a long time ago. I don’t understand how people can wear them all day long. My limit was about 15 minutes!

Flip flops. Image via Pixabay.
Flip flops. Image via Pixabay.

43. Misted up Glasses

An old Goodies sketch showed Graeme Garden wearing his usual specs but they came with windscreen wipers. Great idea. I’ve lost count of how often I’ve come in from somewhere and my glasses immediately steam up. I’d like the wipers option please when I next get my specs.

What my glasses can look like from the inside after a heavy downpour
What my glasses can look like from the inside after a heavy downpour. Image via Pixabay

44. Junk Mail

Now I think this is one where the vast majority of you will agree. How often do you wait in for some important letter or parcel and all that comes through the door is junk mail? It is uncanny how that always manages to hit your mat speedily when it is the last thing you want to receive. How often have you found junk mail useful? Not very often? Same here!

Yes please to this one. Image via Pixabay.
Yes please to this one. Image via Pixabay.

45. Not being able to select a slot for parcel deliveries

This depends on the service you use of course but I have never understood those places which can’t give you a time slot. It only needs to be approximate and even the 9am to 12 noon or 12 noon to 5 pm slots would be useful.

So when taking the dog out, I have to take my best guess at when something is likely to turn up in the post and hope I get home in time. I couldn’t tell you how many “Sorry we’ve missed you” cards I’ve had in my time. The time of the attempted delivery is nearly always about five minutes after I’ve left with the dog. Do you think they’re waiting around the corner for me to go out? It does sometimes feel like that!

Why do parcels never come when you expect them
Why do parcels never come when you expect them? Image via Pixabay

So more of my “to be dumped at the earliest opportunity” items to come. Comments welcome on this and the earlier batches though!

Related Posts: Parts 1 and 2

http://chandlersfordtoday.co.uk/101-things-to-put-into-room-101/
http://chandlersfordtoday.co.uk/part-2-101-things-to-put-into-room-101/
Read interviews with Chandler’s Ford writer Allison Symes: Part 1 and Part 2.

Read blog posts by Allison Symes published on Chandler’s Ford Today.

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Related posts:

Feature Image - Part 5 101Things to Put into Room 101Part 5 – 101 Things to Put into Room 101 Feature Image - Part 1 of Room 101 series - Image via Pixabay101 Things to Put into Room 101 Feature Image - Part 4 - 101 Things to Put into Room 101Part 4 – 101 Things to Put into Room 101
Tags: George Orwell, humour, Room 101, viewpoint

About Allison Symes

I'm a published flash fiction and short story writer, as well as a blogger. My fiction work has appeared in anthologies from Cafelit and Bridge House Publishing.

My first flash fiction collection, From Light to Dark and Back Again, was published by Chapeltown Books in 2017.

My follow-up, Tripping the Flash Fantastic, was published by Chapeltown Books in 2020.

I adore the works of many authors but my favourites are Jane Austen, P.G. Wodehouse and Terry Pratchett.

I like to describe my fiction as fairytales with bite.

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Comments

  1. Mike Sedgwick says

    March 30, 2018 at 7:39 am

    Sounds like the Pope has consigned Hell to room 101. But, if room 101 exists, Hell must exist and now be known as room 101. Can’t quite figure the logic of all this.

    I agree with your selection, Allison, except the snow. Bring on more snow and those lovely quiet soft white mornings before the babble of complaints begins.

    Reply
  2. Allison Symes says

    March 30, 2018 at 9:47 pm

    Thanks, Mike. My first collie, Gracie, who was (a beardie/border cross) liked the snow but tended to collect mini snow balls between her pads and she loathed having those dealt with. Lady has no such issues and had a riotous time with doggy friends in the park though she did manage to lose a bright green ball in a snowdrift. Am not sorry though the threatened repeat of snow has not come to anything. It looks like I have nesting robins in the garden (aah!) and I did feel sorry for the birds in the recent bad weather.

    Reply
  3. Janet Williams says

    March 31, 2018 at 12:02 am

    Health and Safety warning! Spilt milk, split teabag, flour on the floor, losing your balance (wearing the flip flops) over the milk on the floor, and the junk mails are demanding your attention…… I feel your pain, Allison. 🙂

    Reply
    • Allison Symes says

      March 31, 2018 at 2:24 pm

      Indeed Janet!

      Reply
  4. Rosemary Johnson says

    April 4, 2018 at 1:15 pm

    Agree with you about milk and sugar sachets, Allison. My husband insists of picking them up and packing them when we visit hotels, also butter packs. (Yes, you can imagine.)

    Reply
    • Allison Symes says

      April 4, 2018 at 5:14 pm

      I suspect, Rosemary, your husband tells you something like “they’ll be useful”. I’ve heard this refrain myself! Butter packs though? You’ve beaten me there. The thought of a melted mess on a hot day – urgggh! (Mind you, as I type this in early April 2018, it is pouring down again in Hampshire so no chance of a heatwave any time soon so the butter packs will probably be safe for a bit!).

      Reply

Trackbacks

  1. REAL WRITING = REAL CHARACTERS – Allison Symes: Collected Works says:
    March 31, 2018 at 12:53 am

    […] latest Chandler’s Ford Today post sees me resuming my series on 101 Things to Put into Room 101. This week’s post sees me reach No. 45! Do you agree with my choices? Comments welcome in the […]

    Reply
  2. Part 4 - 101 Things to Put into Room 101 - Chandler's Ford Today says:
    April 6, 2018 at 12:00 am

    […] Part 3 – 101 Things to Put into Room 101 […]

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  3. Part 5 - 101 Things to Put into Room 101 - Chandler's Ford Today says:
    April 21, 2018 at 12:58 pm

    […] http://chandlersfordtoday.co.uk/part-2-101-things-to-put-into-room-101/ http://chandlersfordtoday.co.uk/part-3-101-things-to-put-into-room-101/ […]

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