I bought a new mobile phone recently. Here it is.
Anything wrong with that? Yes, it’s not a fruit-flavoured smartie phone. Much to the bewilderment and frustration of family and friends, I refuse to own a smartphone. Why? No one has yet convinced me of the need. The phone I have makes and receives phone calls and text messages and that is pretty much all I need it to do.
Ironically, I was one of the first of my peer group to own a mobile phone – back in the mid-nineties, a petrol company was giving them away if you bought enough fuel. I was then covering enough mileage to need a tank of fuel at least once a week and I collected enough points to get one within a month!
Here are some arguments against what others tell me is my need for a smartphone.
“But what about all the exciting apps you could get”. I have enough trouble trying to fit in all the reading and writing and film watching I want to do. I’ve hardly got the time to play with more procrastination-inducing applications. And anyway, I’d had my last retro-phone for over two years before I discovered the games it had pre-installed, so I hardly think I’m going to miss a few apps.
“You can check email / social networks when you are out and about”. Many people find it hard to understand my response of “but I don’t want to”. I will read and respond to emails and Facebook posts when I’m at home and in my own time but when I’m out and about and socialising with other people I’d rather, well, be out and about and socialising with other people.
There is an assumption that because we can be contactable at any time, we should be contactable at any time. People in checkout queues answer calls and launch deep into conversations while trying to pack away their shopping and open their wallets with one hand. Phone calls are private conversations; I don’t want all and sundry listening in to my private conversations. Why are people so reluctant to say “I’m busy right now; could you call back later”? Does no one realise that you don’t have to answer a call? You have voicemail that you can check at your convenience. If it’s important, you can phone them back later; if it’s not, you don’t have to.
“You can check where you are with google maps”. I can also check where I am with real maps (which are far more interesting) or by looking at street signs. I’ve managed to get through over 50 years of my life without the help of google maps when I am travelling, and I’ve never got so hopelessly lost that a search party’s been needed. Once, while on a local walk we ended up on a road I wasn’t expecting. Mrs Chippy reached for her phone while I used the old and trusted method of “asking a passer-by”. I found our location while Google Maps was still trying to pinpoint us more precisely than “London” – and got directions to where we wanted to go, to boot.
“You can contact people using WhatsApp”. Yes, but I can already contact people with a plethora of other media. It’s not as if I am off-grid. Having another communication method means something else to check because I don’t know which particular one different people will use to contact me. Multiple different communication methods strikes me as a fast way to communication overload.
“You can take a photo and immediately email it or post it to social media” OK, but is that a good thing? Isn’t it better to wait and consider whether the photo is suitable for distribution? Is the quality good enough? Does it contain people (intentionally or accidentally) who might not want to be plastered all over social media? Do I want people to know where I am right now? Have I removed the hidden properties from the image that might pinpoint the exact location of the image, or other personal details?
And what about something you rarely hear from us retro phone stalwarts: “has anyone got a charger I can borrow?”. One charge will typically last five or six days. None of this 8-hour max malarkey
And what about the size of the screen and keyboard? The screen size is too small to read anything easily. The small width makes it difficult to scan read and you have to scroll down every few lines. There is no chance of having extra columns of information, or links to other information. That would drive me up the wall.
Compare these two images of the BBC News page. The smart phone version concentrates on one story; you have no idea what else is going on. The real computer allows you to easily pick what story to read, and has easily visible links to other sections of the BBC site (Sounds is the one I click most often).
“How do I do this”? people ask when trying to navigate through a smartphone enable web site. My stock response is “it’s a computer application. Use a proper computer”.
And how anyone manages to type anything on the screen-based keyboard is beyond me. On the rare occasions that I have tried to use one it’s been a very slow and frustrating experience. I hit a key next to the one I want; or can’t find the letter I want. It’s not that I can’t user a qwerty keyboard – it’s just that I am used to using one with both hands. Letters on the left are hit with the fingers on my left hand; letters on the right with those on my right hand (those in the middle are hit with which ever finger is closer). Yes, I know that this isn’t the proper way to type but it works (after a fashion) for me. But give me a small smartphone keyboard where you are supposed to use one finger for all letters, and I am flummoxed. I can actually write messages using my numeric keypad than I can using a screen-based qwerty one.
I’m not a complete luddite. I have a kindle (did I hear a sharp intake of breath. Don’t worry, I have real books too). And I’m thinking about getting a GPS watch to track my running (I’ve done research; there are some types that don’t need to be coupled with a smartphone to work). Maybe I’ll be persuaded one day. But for now I am keeping with my retro-phone.
Oh Mr M, your writing did make me laugh! You’ve thought a long time about how to live your reasons NOT to get smart. You’ve even collected a few so that should any one say “ but what about..” you have a stock supply of validating reasons.
The old Nokia was one of the greatest phones, with a fan base… so much so that in recent times it was re-released… and it had Snakes on it again too (that’s a game. No, I’ve never played it).
I hope you & your “new” unsmart phone have some wonderful times together, don’t forget to charge it though… you could have left it a day late at exactly the time you want it.
Your running watch will be fab… (it will be multi-app compatible). I’m guessing you plan to make the most out of it with your computer? But more immediate on a smart phone which will synch immediately & provide data you’ve previously told it you want, And all without even being asked. It’s like an assistant. And some of them have google maps (or Tom Tom). Helpful when you need to ask directions but can’t ask a passer by while doubled over breathing hard as you try to rid yourself of a stitch!
I’m only joking of course! Each to their own… but it sounded like all the reasons I’d heard before, and while some are Semi-valid (answering and holding calls in inappropriate places is more about a person’s common decency toward others imo) I can’t really see a Retro phone as being life enhancing. You’ll be telling us next you’ve sold your car and got a steam engine 😀 ☺️
Yes, my phone does have snake – an updated, multi-coloured version. I don’t play it much – my reactions are too slow
The data and analysis on runs will be the same whether I get it immediately or have to wait until I get to my computer, so I’m not bothered. I think I have a similar attitude to social media updates – they will still be there when I get home.
A steam engine – now that’s an idea. I wonder what Mrs M. will think!
Should I admit that my phone battery was flat this morning? A disadvantage of having a long-running battery could be that I am not in the habit of plugging it in so yes, sometimes it does run flat.
If only I could make phone calls with my tablet, life would be a doddle except that I would have to have a large pocket on my shirt.
Come to think of it, why do tailors not make clothes with pockets for phones?
There was an ad on TV last night, it did not mention a phone, only other things a phone can do, photos, slomo, maps, morphing faces etc.
The main problem with a mobile phone is that, when needed, you remember that you left it at home on charge.
I sometimes leave my phone at home all day, and get back to find a total of zero calls and texts. I’m not sure whether I should be happy or sad at this!
Depending on your tablet and phone you could possibly make calls from it… if they are paired and you’ve set up use to allow use in that way… ? My iphone and iPad plus my iwatch all will take and make calls (I can feel poor Minty dying inside right now).
I recently had a serious fall breaking my ankle. Went to call for help with my watch – it was out of charge – I had to drag myself the few steps of distance to where my phone was and then somehow from the floor reach up for it! The things you need to do in a crisis! My landline would have been useless here, I’d never have got there.
I now have fall detection switched on on my iwatch – weeks on am still immobile and in plaster – my iPad and smart phone are my constant companions – my “Life Support Machines” if you will… . A desktop computer with ⌨️ keyboard would not work in this scenario! Thank god for smart tech ⌚️
The standard response to situations like this is “how did we cope before mobile phones?”. However, that is missing the point. What we did before mobile phones was have neighbours who would physically check on us frequently. Either that or we lost our independence at a much earlier age.
I’ve been told that in some countries you can get mobile phones with just one button. It is set to call a number of pre-programmed numbers until it gets an answer.
One of the reasons I first got a mobile phone all those year ago was that I was finding it increasingly difficult to find a working public phone when I was driving long distances.
About 35 years ago I was on a bell ringing tour of the west country. The family of one of our party needed to contact him urgently. Despite knowing little more than “he’s somewhere in Somerset” the message got through (via the vicar of one of the churches we rang at). I still have no idea how!
Hi Chippy, l do have a ‘smart’ phone! A folding Nokia, circa 2001, £25 second hand on Amazon, £10 p a y g on Tesco mobile = approx one year. You can’t get much ‘smarter’ than that.
Like you, l use a home computer, or iPad for internet use. Phones are for calls, (and maybe texts). You can have a decent holiday for the cost of some ‘smart phones,’ much better value.
Proud to be a non conformist.
Agree entirely Chippy had to get a mobile 17 years ago when moving to my present address , no landline here needed to get gas electric phone etc connected bought a Nokia couldn’t get a new battery when it expired after years of use so eventually bought a basic phone online , phone calls texts the main things even text my friend in Australia my ” new ” phone also cost me £25 .
Likewise am no luddite until retiring worked as electrical technician on repairing maintaining modern computerised trains at home I use an Apple Mac covers everything I need tech wise .
I’m still using one of those!
Agree completely. A smartphone is a jack of all trades, a master of none – except sucking money out of one’s wallet that is. There isn’t anything a smartphone can do that can’t be done better – and virtually always cheaper – by a dedicated device. Brain dead operating system, crippled UI, tiny screen, no keyboard, outrageously expensive to both acquire and “feed”, and very fragile and short lived are but a few of the reasons I refuse to have anything whatsoever to do with the stupid things.
I’ll keep my computer with its 3 large screens, thank you very much!
Completely agree … I have an ‘old fashioned’ mobile phone that sits in my drawer and is NEVER used … don’t really know why I have it as it costs me $9 (5pounds 10p) a month … all I need to do can be done in other ways and some of it for free … the worst anti social, privacy invasive, ‘zombie’ creating thing ever invented …