Christmas Stories, Limericks and Traditions

Just for fun, I thought I would share a few Christmas linked short stories (the famous 100 worders) and limericks.

I also share a couple of my family traditions at Christmastime.

Incredulity

The newly recruited young elf
Looked helplessly up at the shelf
At the vast array of toys
Not for the young girls and boys
But for a pet to “find itself”.

Good to go

He looked at himself in the mirror. It was no good. He couldn’t put it off any longer. The duty called and that was it. Still at least he had the very best in transport and food drinks supplies were always generous. The only problem with that was answering the call of nature but that was his problem and he’d deal with it. The way he always did.

He looked at the clock. Yes, time to be off. Rudolph and the others would be waiting.

And if Santa prided himself on anything, it was his punctuality.

Christmas Eve

One of the joys of Christmas Eve
Is knowing that when you take leave
Of the day and its toil
There is nothing to spoil
What it means for those who believe.

The Recruit

‘Can Jim do this? He stares into space.’

‘Have you shown him what to do?’

‘A million times, boss.’

‘Really? You know my powers mean I detect exaggerations a mile off?’

The elf bowed. ‘Sorry, Santa, but we’re rushed off our feet, we need workers but if Jim can’t…’

‘Perhaps he’s scared. You remember your first Christmas here?’

The elf blushed. ‘Breaking the tree baubles was an accident, sir.’

‘Quite. He didn’t mean to knock that wretched tree over. We must move it. See to it, then send Jim to me. It’s time for an encouraging word.’

The results of a teenage pregnancy

A teenage girl gives birth in the hay
Her betrothed is not that far away
They could not have foreseen
Just what this night would mean
Later, by her son’s cross, she did stay.

Time to be off

‘We don’t usually leave the sheep, boss. You say it’s dangerous.’

‘Yes, lad, but this is different.’ The head shepherd gazed at the youngest herdsman.

‘The wolves and other predators are still out there, boss.’

‘Our visitors will make sure our animals are all right while we visit Bethlehem, lad.’

‘They didn’t say so, boss. They just talked and sang about “glory to God”.’

‘True, lad. Come on, let’s go. Are you nervous? Is that why you’re dilly dallying?’

The young herdsman gulped. ‘Be fair, boss, it’s not everyday you meet the Son of God.’

Our family traditions

By the time this is posted I will have fulfilled two other family traditions at this time of year.

One was going to our mother church’s Lessons and Carols Evening which took place at Romsey United Reformed Church last Sunday, 20th December. I read one of the lessons, representing our church at Braishfield URC. The church looked lovely all lit up.

The only thing I wasn’t keen on was the use of a different tune to O Little Town of Bethlehem which, given this is a visitor’s service, I honestly thought was a mistake. I hope we have the standard tune next year. But there is one different version of this wonderful carol I do like…

The other tradition was on Tuesday 22nd December when I went to Braishfield URC’s Carols by Candlelight evening. This was less formal than Romsey’s church service and actually took the place of where the church used to go around the village carol singing. Frankly it was much more comfortable to be sat in the church and sing!

In between the carols there were readings, poems, some dreadful Christmas cracker type jokes and the carols were chosen by request. Someone always chooses Ding Dong Merrily on High which I think of as not so much a carol but more of an endurance test especially for asthmatics like myself.

The jollity was followed by tea, coffee and mince pies and money was raised for our charity project of the year. Indeed this was the final event of the year for the charity which for 2015 was Rivers of Living Water which is a smaller version of Water Aid and does much to help the people of Zimbabwe.

Our church has a tradition of having one “home” charity one year, then an “away” one for the following year. (Yes we do have Saints fans in our midst! We hope they appreciate the football link here!). And we invite representatives of the charity to come and talk to us about what they do, what they would use any funds raised for and so on.

So whatever your Christmas traditions are, I hope you have a lovely Christmas and wish you all the best for 2016.

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