Almost time to start eating the Christmas cake – but first I better make it.
I use the trusted recipe I’ve been using for years – and my mother used before me. It comes from an old and well-used recipe book.
The book is even older than I am! All the measurements (including the oven temperature) are imperial. Recipes don’t differentiate between plain and self-raising flour – there was no self-raising. The back of the book gives useful information on refrigerators (“electric or gas”) because they were still a bit of an innovation.
Here’s the recipe (or not)
- 1 cup water
- 1 tsp baking soda
- 1 cup of sugar
- 1 tsp salt
- 1 cup of brown sugar
- Lemon Juice
- 4 large eggs
- 1 bottle of Brandy
- 1 bottle of Rum
- 2 cups dried fruit
- Sample the brandy to check the quality.
- Take a large bowl, check the brandy again.
- To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and mix with a little rum and drink.
- Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large bowl.
- Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.
- At this point it is best to make sure the brandy is still ok.
- Flavour with rum to taste. Try another cup – just in case turn off the mixerer.
- Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
- Pick fruit off floor
- Mix on the turner.
- If the dried fruit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
- Shample the brandy to check for tonsisticitity, flavour with a little Brum.
- Next ssiffft two cups of salt. Or something
- Who giveshz a shtuff
- Throw a pinch of rum over your shoulder
- Pick up the can, mop the floor
- Check the brandy
- Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
- Add one table.
- Add a shpoon of shugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.
- Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over..
- Don’t forget to beat off the turner Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the brandy and kick the dog.
- Fall into bed.