Reaching the “home straight” on my 101 Things to put into Room 101 series, I am now at number 76. It’s probably a sad reflection of human nature that it is usually easy enough to find things to complain about rather than praise. Still on to some more of life’s irritations.
76. The ability to lose scissors, pens etc
Why is this so easy to do? I know I have scissors. I put them in a safe place. Either the place is so safe I’ve forgotten where it is, or someone else has taken the scissors when I do go to where I know I left the dratted things. As for pens, I think there must be a mysterious black hole in my house where they all end up, or I have the equivalent of Terry Pratchett’s Eater of Lost Socks skulking out of sight around my desk!
77. The excuses used for putting prices up
I accept prices will go up on most things due to inflation, costs of raw materials rising etc, but why can’t people just say so? What I don’t need is the hyperbole about “investing in your future” etc. Trying to “pretty up” the reasons for an increase simply doesn’t work with me. I don’t believe a word of it! So let’s just save some time and ink and be honest, yes?
78. Not putting enough coaches on trains
This doesn’t just apply to our network of course. Train companies put special offers on to encourage more rail use especially for school holidays. This is great and I used these a lot when my son was younger. However, all of this is rather spoilt when you either can’t find a seat or are aware of others standing because the train company kept to the normal number of coaches it would use for normal traffic! Ahem, folks, at least one extra coach should be added, you will fill it, and people will literally be more comfortable.
79. Bad manners
This ties in with 78 above. Offering seats to those less able than you are should be a natural thing to do for everyone but sadly this isn’t the case. So anyone with bad manners should be cast into the vault of doom if they don’t change their ways after one forcefully dropped hint. Naturally there would be no seating for them in Room 101!
80. Noisy packets
Why are crisp and other packets so noisy on opening? Regular film goers will know the aggravation of this more than I do, but you can get quite a racket going on public transport with these things. Silencers, please!
81. Not having a time of delivery other than “between 9 a.m and 6 p.m.”
I don’t really need to say much on this, do I? How many of us really can wait in all day? People must plan their delivery routes so why not 2-3 hour delivery slots instead? Would reduce those “sorry we missed you” cards a lot too.
82. Jingles
These are just annoying. Something simple to say which station you’re listening to is fine, but most jingles “jazz things up” with hyberbole etc. I’m sure this is done as a way to seem important. Doesn’t work with me! I just want the facts!
83. Bulky luggage blocking aisles
The answer to this is increased luggage space on trains etc, but I suspect even if that was done, there would still be the inconsiderate who want their luggage right by them. That kind of person does not care who they get in the way of, so they and their luggage can be dumped in Room 101. That place is so huge they won’t block anyone again!
84. Bins that are too small for purpose/not emptied often enough
This can be a real issue for dog waste bins particularly. One, ideally both, issues need sorting out. So take these too small bins away so there has to be a decent sized one in its place!
85. People who dump their autumn leaves in the road
This is both selfish and stupid. I’ve almost fallen because I haven’t been able to see the kerb while waiting to cross the road. A guess at where it might be isn’t good enough! I am also sure leaves in the road must be a hazard to bikers of both varieties. Often leaves are blown back anyway so compost them or bin them up and use the Council’s garden waste service please. You will get your money’s worth every autumn! Or go and live somewhere without trees!
86. Ripped Jeans
Goodness knows there have been odd fashions over the centuries, but the tailors who supplied “The Emperor’s New Clothes” would’ve had a good laugh at this one. Why spend a small fortune on designer ripped jeans when you can get an ordinary pair and let time and repeated washes put the rips in the material for you FOR FREE?! The process can be speeded up by strenuous work or hobbies that would also put the rips in FOR FREE? Truly there is one born every minute to fall for this literal rip-off.
87. End of the world predictions
A strange one to choose given my Christian faith? Not really. Just bear in mind when someone comes out with the next one (and they will!), most Christians know Jesus himself said “But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, but My Father only.” So for me anyone claiming to know the date is plain wrong! (Bible quote from Matthew 25 NIV). Any Christian claiming to know hasn’t read their Bible properly.
88. “Easy to open” packets
They’re not! I have to take the scissors to them, assuming I can find the wretched things.
89. Headaches, migranes etc
These cause much misery and of course are “invisible” so it can be hard to tell if someone’s suffering, unless they tell you. They can also be dismissed as “just” a headache. No “just” about it.
90. Ticks and Fleas
For my fellow dog owners especially. Okay putting ticks and fleas into Room 101 would hit the treatment companies’ profit lines but most sell other products and it would be a relatively small price to get rid of these biting pests. Err…the ticks and fleas that is!
Concluding part to this series next time.
Related posts:-
Read interviews with Chandler’s Ford writer Allison Symes: Part 1 and Part 2.
Read blog posts by Allison Symes published on Chandler’s Ford Today.
Unopenable packages – I keep a small penknife for such occasions and I am surprised how often I have to use it. It would be confiscated if I had it in my pocket at the airport, the blade is considered dangerous for it is 2.5 Cm long.
I bought a cup of coffee and went to the till to pay. “Seniors get it free before 10.00 on Tuesdays,” I was told. I hadn’t realised I was a senior until then let alone look like one. Five years later, someone offered me a seat on the tube. I must have looked particularly crocked on that day. It hasn’t happened again.
Migraine is what you have if you are a white-collar worker and need a day off. If you are blue-collar then it is backache.
End of the world? More likely the human race will end just as most other animal species have become extinct. Will the next animal species to evolve be concerned?
The only things on Allison’s list I would keep would be the parasites. They have such fascinating ways of living.
76. The ability to lose scissors, pens etc
This is a serious problem and seems to be getting worse. What is needed is a full scale Government inquiry led by an eminent person at a cost of several million. One of my friends has advanced an explanation for her missing items; they return having being transformed into the lids of Tupperware containers. It’s a start into a much needed inquiry
Many thanks, Mike. It is when products claim to be easy to open that particularly infuriates me. They never are! (Course it would help no end if I could find the scissors).
I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOUR LIST!
Love the idea, David. Alternative theory is the missing items turn into socks – this is why you can go from having one sock to suddenly having three of the same. (It’s either that or the socks are breeding, which is a ghastly thought!).
Many thanks, Ed.
Allison,
Interestingly the image for your 79 (Bad Manners) means – Military Control Area. Setting up stalls is not allowed within 50 metres.
Never knew that, Janet. Mind, would you WANT to set up a stall within 50 metres of a Military Control Area? I know I wouldn’t!